


Flickering of the Flame

by VisionaryGalaxy



Series: A Thousand Futures of Me and You [21]
Category: Doctor Strange (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Arguing, BAMF Stephen Strange, Communication, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt Stephen Strange, Idiots in Love, Insecure Stephen Strange, M/M, Protective Tony Stark, Supportive Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-16 07:09:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16081055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisionaryGalaxy/pseuds/VisionaryGalaxy
Summary: Sometimes life can be as short as a dying flame, Tony and Stephen won't let the light be extinguished without a fight.





	1. Flickering Love

**Author's Note:**

> Er… this is yet another story my muse snuck up on me with.  
> Hope everyone enjoys!

   Stephen woke slowly, body groggy and stiff in a way that should be familiar to him after all these years, after all he had never been kind to it no matter his profession. But this time his mind sensed it wasn’t the strain of the battle yesterday, no, his mental clock was warning him something was very wrong, as obviously indicated by the bright light shining through the thick curtain. Shifting slightly, Stephen winced, an ache making itself known, ah he remembered.

   He glanced to the side, blinking rapidly in the dim light. The form laying beside him was undeniably Tony, huddled in the thick comforter, a tuff of his brown hair sticking out from the cocoon, and steady deep breaths disturbing the silent air of the room. A slow smile spread across Stephen’s face as he gazed down at the man, memories of the night before causing a blush to creep over his cheeks. They had been apart for nearly a week, a tornado of responsibilities having taken up residence in their lives, leaving little time for more then a text, a quick video chat, one short phone call. The moment Tony had shown up at the Sanctuary door, all it had taken was one look from Wong, and he was given the night off from his duties.

   Tony’s enthusiasm last night and their long conversation that had taken them into the morning was the reason why he was waking at what appeared to be near noon. His internal clock was seriously unhappy, yet it was clear, as he stretched his body he had needed the extra rest. He had duties to perform today, it was true, but with a wide yawn Stephen decided he probably wasn’t needed too urgently just yet.

   The quiet breathing paused, and then Tony’s form began to shift, the comforter falling away as he turned around. Tony stretched as Stephen had just done, his bare chest arching enticingly as he watched. Tony’s eyes remained closed, but his other hand reached out blindly until it had grabbed onto Stephen’s arm, tugging insistently for him to come closer. Stephen chuckled and allowed it, pressing against the other man and offering gentle kisses along his jaw line. He only received a low hum in return and Stephen couldn’t help the mischievous grin that slipped out.

   He began to nip at the skin there, adding bite until Tony finally cracked an eye open, looking down at him with disapproval. Before Tony could say anything, Stephen leaned up and kissed him gently, one firm push of the lips, one of Tony’s hands sliding into his hair, holding him for a moment. Stephen quickly pulled away and watched confusion spill onto Tony’s face.

   “What’s wrong?” The man murmured, voice thick with sleepiness.

   “Nothing, but I need to get up and take over for Wong. As for you, I think you said something about an Avenger’s meeting last night.”

   Tony’s face twisted into distaste, as he squinted at Stephen, still struggling in the low light, “You are way too awake right now.”

   Stephen shook his head, “Its almost noon, I’d say you are just way too asleep.”

   That seem to revive him a little, eyes opening further, head tilting back to look at the clock, “shit.” He muttered.

   Stephen laughed at him, even as Tony pulled a pillow over his face and groaned, “I think I’ll cancel it.”

   “Nope, you were supposed to meet with them last night. Rhodey will be pissed if you do it again.” Stephen slid to the end of the bed, stretching one more time, preparing to make himself stand up. “I’ll portal you, so you still have a bit of time.”

   “Hey.”

   Stephen glanced back to see Tony gazing at him with warm eyes, “I missed you, you know.”

   The Sorcerer raised an eyebrow, “Yeah, I got that from last night.”

   A heated look slid into Tony’s eyes and Stephen shook his head, glared at him sternly. “Don’t even think about it. I’ll meet you downstairs for breakfast.”

 

   By the time Tony made it down to the kitchen Stephen had successfully avoided Wong’s scrutiny. The man was the most expressive stoic he had ever met, his disapproval at the time making itself know in his silence. Still, Wong wasn’t going to complain, he knew, he had been waiting for Tony to return so Stephen would shut up, at least that’s what he was told. Now he sat sipping a coffee, listening as Wong explained the books he had picked out for the exercise that day, when Tony stumbled in freshly showered, and dressed in one of the only three suits he left at the Sanctuary.

   “Wong.” Tony greeted.

   The librarian didn’t even look up, “Stark.”

   Tony grinned at Stephen, wiggling his eyebrows, and Stephen rolled his eyes even as another blush found its way onto his cheeks. They had been loud last night, and though Tony wasn’t at all shy about it, Stephen would prefer the man at least show some tact.

   “I found it.” Wong declared, and Stephen glanced at the book pushed in front of him.

   “Found what?” Tony asked, glancing over Stephen’s shoulder, cradling a coffee in his hand.

   Wong still didn’t look up. “Its in Sanskrit Stark, you can’t read it.”

   “Good morning to you to Wong.”

   Stephen sighed loudly, “we are looking at improving my skills with accessing other dimensions, besides the mirror dimension of course.”

   Concern sparked in his eyes and Stephen struggled not to let his irritation show. Tony knew what he was capable of, especially since their experience on Titan, but ever since they agreed to attempt this relationship, the man’s protective streak had been equal parts infuriating and adorable.

   “I’ll prepare for the exercise, meet me in thirty minutes.” Wong left with only a cursory glance at the men.

   “I didn’t know you were exploring other dimensions.”

   Stephen drooped in his chair, not meeting Tony’s eyes, “Its part of the job, by being able to access other realms I can pre-empt attacks, identify beings easier, and figure out weaknesses.”

   “Right.” Tony’s voice was anything but understanding.

   Now Stephen couldn’t hide the irritation, “What is it?”

   Tony blew gently on his coffee and moved to lean against the counter, making Stephen spin around in his chair to watch the man. “Its nothing, I just want you to be careful. I imagine that takes a lot of energy-”

   A lump formed in Stephen’s throat. If he was honest with himself, Tony’s concern over him had become grating in the worst way, because it wasn’t the man’s fault. Tony didn’t know that every time he said things like that a dark little voice in his head whispered about how he was weak, how Tony didn’t trust him to take care of himself, didn’t believe he was capable in his role as Sorcerer Supreme. It could be intimidating, dating the Ironman, someone who has saved the world dozens of times, held the respect of humanity. Stephen was so very powerful, but whenever he finds himself in battle with the man, or even the other Avengers he usually takes the back seat, feels very out of place.

   Stephen isn’t stupid of course, he has been alive long enough to recognize superficial insecurities when he feels them, to know how Tony really views his magic. Since Titan the man no longer feared some massive unknown threat coming from the skies, no his single-minded intensity was reserved for his loved ones now, his mission to see them safely through the rest of their lives. Stephen was just one man on a long list of people to whom Tony would protect with his life, but Stephen didn’t want that. All he wanted was for Tony to believe he could protect himself, take care of himself, using magic no less, which the other man still seemed to hold a special distrust for.

   But he understands, and he knows that for the past week he has been severely sleep deprived, his emotions running wild with free reign over his heart and head. So, with a forced easy smile Stephen met the man’s eyes, “It’s alright Tony, I’ll be careful. Wong is with me every step of the way.”

   Something eased in Tony, “Well, we both know mother-hen with keep control of things.”

 

   Exactly forty-six minutes later, Tony was gone to the Avenger’s compound, looking none to happy about it and Stephen was stepping into the main living room. He was dressed in his usual tunic and wraps, the Cloak hovering nearby unwilling to stray far. Wong glanced up from where he was meditating on the floor with disapproval.

   “I see this whole day will be on delay for you.”

   Stephen blew a sigh, and carefully sunk down into position on the floor across from Wong. “Can we just focus please?”

   “Can we?”

   Stephen closed his eyes and counted to three, “I’m sorry. Better?”

   Wong shrugged, “Barely.”

   Without another word the book from earlier was flipped open and placed on the floor in front of Stephen. He felt his whole body relax, mind settling suddenly, all his attention moving to the task at hand. “Where are we going today?”

   “Nightmare dimension.”

   Stephen looked up at the man sharply. But Wong just shot him a look, warning him to let him finish.

   “The nightmare dimension, as you know, is usually entered when someone is dreaming. It is both the easiest and most disorienting way. You are in someone else’s head, as a result you have very little control over what is happening.” Stephen nodded along as Wong flipped a page, pointing to a paragraph about midway down.

   “What we will attempt to do is enter on your own terms. It will allow you to get familiar with the way it works, the creatures there, without being held prisoner to a certain scenario conjured by the sleeping mind.”

   “Alright, but how do I find an entrance without a dream?”

   Wong frowned slightly, “that is the difficult part.”

   “Don’t hold me in suspense here or anything.” Stephen remarked sarcastically.

   “Attitude.” Wong warned. “You will need to reach a deep meditative space in which you mind will resemble that of being asleep. You will enter the REM cycle whilst still having some cognitive ability, simply muted or shut down.”

   “Easy.” Stephen muttered, ignoring the look Wong flashed at him.

   Something uneasy slithered through Stephen as he let his eyes skim the text. “What about my physical body?”

   “As with astral projection it will be vulnerable, simply a host. This is not a dimension you can enter physically, only metaphysically. Which is why it should only be done when there is someone trusted to stand guard over your body.”

   Stephen forced himself to relax where he had tensed. He trusted Wong of course, it was himself he was a little unsure of. “And how do I wake up after?”

   Wong nodded, and to Stephen’s instant distress he swore he saw concern flash through the other man’s eyes. But he knew better then to comment on it.

   “It will take plenty of practice. Until you are able to do it without strain we will utilize an anchor, which will act as both tether to our realm and warning system. Simply focus on it as you would while entering the realm and repeat the steps backwards.”

   Stephen pulled the volume into his lap, while Wong summoned a candle. It was a dark blue long candle stick, sitting sturdily in a golden holder, they had used it before to ground his metaphysical self. As Stephen read over the text he only grew wearier, it reported hallucinations in this realm, creatures that latched on to a man’s worst fears, tested their souls against goodness.

   “Its alright, you can handle this Stephen.”

   He looked up at Wong who was watching him with serene expectation, “was that a compliment Wong?”

   “Only if you needed it.”

   Stephen rolled his eyes, “alright, I guess we should give this a shot. Any suggestions for creatures I might meet?”

   Wong’s expression turned grave, “keep a steady head. I don’t believe you will encounter anything, but if you do they latch onto weakness. Stand by your beliefs, the only way out will be through then.”

   Stephen starred at the other man, brows furrowed. “Wong that sounded very ominous, and I didn’t like it.”

   The man shrugged, and with a swipe of his hand a flame appeared on the candle stick, its orange flame coming to life, flickering before steadying into something more constant. Stephen took a deep breath pushing away his anxieties and focused his mind on that small flame in front of them. As he starred, he felt the Cloak settle protectively around his shoulders, the room dimming into darkness, a comforting little hum echoing its vibrations from his center outwards until he was wrapped up in it. He embraced it through steady breaths, enjoying the way everything seemed to melt away, and it was this moment, perhaps the only one, in which he could feel his power as a physical force inside him, coming in soothing waves, volatile as it was soothing.

   Slowly like trying to swim through molasses Stephen felt himself sinking, resistance prodding at his metaphysical form, making him work for it. His heartbeat sped up, he watched the flame flicker for a moment, his mind quieting suddenly as though not fully functioning any longer. Then he slipped, all at once something cold and dark sliding up his spine. He took a shuddering breath, feeling almost unreal, the Nightmare Dimension.


	2. Flickering Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen and Tony reach an understanding. Stephen meets the creature of the nightmare dimension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I think its a testament to how much I'm enjoying this story by how long it is. Sorry?

   The first thing that Stephen noted about this dimension was the cold. He was weaker in this form of himself, less distinct, yet still the frigid chill immediately began to sweep up his legs, through his torso, settling in his trembling fingers with a fresh sting. For a moment he almost lost his focus, where it was still trained on the small flame before him, memories of cold water, cool night air, and twisted metal creeping in the back of his mind.

   He should have known, really. It was the nightmare dimension. With no other mind to latch onto its very essence would begin to slither through his own. The crash was the obvious choice for whatever force lived here, and there was something, he could sense it. There was a presence, dark and intangible like a shadow that seemed to float in the peripheral of his sight. Stephen continued to keep his eye on the flame, using it as his tether as Wong instructed, even as he yearned to take in the gloomy world slowly settling into focus, like an old photo. There would be time later, when he had more practice in this dimension, to explore, but this moment was for his senses. The aura of the place specifically, which Stephen could only identify as uneasy, indistinct, and something akin to fear or desperation. He was not going to put this at the top of his vacation list.

   The cold continued to travel through his body, a steady shiver making itself known as the chill seemed to invade his lungs with each breath. Soon enough Stephen realized his breathing was slowing without his having known it, could feel the strain in his chest as though he were being frozen from the inside out. A sliver of panic sent a small wave of adrenalin through him, and without thinking his hands twitched where they rested on his knees, the smallest pulse of warmth beginning in his extremities.

   For a moment Stephen was confused, unsure exactly where he had drawn it from, then the flame began to flicker, the wax running down the sides in thicker globs, the light turning blue for a moment. His breath caught, he had taken from the candle, if it went out he would have no way back.

   It was a sure a sign as any to cut this exploration short. He was only meant to test the waters, he would be better prepared next time. Stephen attempted to calm his mind again, reach for that part of him that felt as though it were still in a slumber, so he could wake it. It was difficult with his laboured breath, the pressure on his chest to maintain his center. Just as Stephen swore he could feel the slight weight of the Cloak materializing around his shoulders, there was a noise, no more then a whisper.

   With a groan he snapped back into the dimension, eyes fluttering closed as a headache bloomed across the back of his head, a deep ache pounding on his skull. He slumped as   the cold came back twice as strong.

   “ _Dr. Strange_.” He squeezed his eyes shut, as the whisper materialized again. It felt like no more then a breeze sweeping past his ear, he almost couldn’t tell if it came from the dimension or his own mind.

   Regardless, he couldn’t look at it, the presence from before suddenly feeling like it was all around him at once. Stephen conjured the flame in his mind, knowing it still flickered steadily in front of him. It would work either way.

   “ _Dr. Strange_.” Female, his mind supplied. A slight accent that he couldn’t identify, age utterly unrecognizable. He gritted his teeth as curiosity overwhelmed him, he needed to _focus._

   A tinkling laugh sounded behind him, now several feet away, the cold was receding along with the sudden headache, which should have helped except now there was the odd feeling of frozen little rain drops sprinkling from above. Stephen had to leave, he had no clue what creature this was, its weaknesses, its agenda.

   A sigh like a hard gust of wind made the hair on the back of his neck stand up, “ _Dr. Strange, don’t be rude_.” It sounded eerily similar to a petulant child, but the undercurrent of anger that rose like steel under the polite words could not be masked. _“I want you to stay, I have something for you.”_

   Stephen was a smart man, knew that if he just concentrated on the flame he could be home quickly. Which is why he figured he could blame it on the atmosphere of this dimension, on the growing yearning within him to open his eyes and talk to the voice, to assure it that he would stay, as to why he dared to speak to it.

   “Who are you?” He kept his voice hard, as he finally opened his eyes and forced himself to stare intently at the candle, it was flickering steadily, a sign from Wong to hurry back. The feeling of rain grew a little harder and the shivers returned worse then before.

   A delighted laugh, high-pitched and piercing to the ear, making the Sorcerer wince, “ _Ah! There are better questions then that! Like who are you?”_

   Stephen frowned, finding his mind settling of its own accord as though it were yearning to return to their dimension. “You already know my name.”

   The presence loomed up on his right, Stephen didn’t move a muscle, “ _A name is not a person. You are so much more then your name, aren’t you?”_

   The corner of the shadow was clear in his peripheral now, and it was truly like a shadow. The bit of skin he saw was sickly greyish black, bumps that seemed to move as though it were trying to pick a form to take on.

 _“I could show you who you are. I can make it worth your while.”_ It sounded almost hopeful now.

   “I know who I am.” There was an odd tugging in Stephen’s mind, he knew exactly whom it was. Wong was obviously unhappy, and he could understand. But Stephen had the distinct impression this creature had been waiting for him in some way, which meant he needed to know as much as possible since it would likely be waiting the next time as well.

   The tone shifted suddenly, the voice grew gravellier no longer resembling that of a child but an older woman, voice strained and discontent, _“they always think they know but they are always wrong._ ”

   “Who is they?” Stephen asked quickly, watching as the flames seemed to move rapidly on some invisible breeze, he only had a minute.

 _“Those who came before, you are not the first. None have been worthy of my relic; the truth is too unbearable.”_ Her voice was laced with disgust.

   Stephen tensed as she said relic, he almost turned to look, the urge to identify the item too strong. He was the Sorcerer Supreme, in training but still, it was his job to protect any and all relics. The thought that some powerful item was in this realm, vulnerable to the creatures here was unacceptable. Just as Stephen prepared to risk a glance, he felt as sudden harsh pull, yanking him back to his dimension as though on a string.

   His eyes closed tightly to control the nausea and as comforting warmth from their living room washed over him, he could hear a distant, eager laughter. The creature’s last words ringing in his ears, _“I will see you soon Stephen Strange. We will have so much fun together.”_

 

 

   “Tell me again.” Wong asked, pinching his nose between his fingers, eyes closed.

   Stephen blew out an irritated sigh from where he was wrapped in blankets and the Cloak on the couch. He cradled a fresh warm tea in his hands, held steady by the edge of the Cloak while colour slowly returned to his chilled limbs. He had returned utterly exhausted, barely able to move, his metaphysical self apparently over taxed by the length of time he had stayed. He had fallen asleep for a solid hour before Wong managed to revive him.

   “I told you everything Wong, I didn’t want to risk looking away from the candle.”

   Wong rolled his eyes, “If you really didn’t want to risk anything, you wouldn’t have carried on a conversation with a creature from the _nightmare dimension_.”

   “You are the one who said I wouldn’t run into anything!”

   The man shook his head, shuffling through the books laid out on the coffee table in front of him, “only you, Strange, would attract the attention of a nightmare creature on your first visit.”

   Stephen couldn’t help but smirk, “thank you.”

   Wong ignored him, “I am going to the library to see if I can’t figure out who the creature was and what this relic is. You take a look through the Sanctuary archive, especially if it mentioned others having tried.”

   Stephen nodded, “I’ll also check the catalogue for missing or misplaced items.”

   “Keep in mind Strange, it is entirely possible the relic was left there on purpose.”

   Stephen frowned at the other Sorcerer, confused after the dozens of lectures he had received about their duty to collect and protect such items. Leaving what could possibly be a very powerful relic in the nightmare dimension seemed like the height stupidity, especially with a creature like the one he met standing guard over it. His feelings must have been portrayed on his face because Wong shrugged as he stood, lifting a large volume in his hands.

   “Think about. If the item is truly dangerous or perhaps even volatile in nature there is no better place to store it. Obviously, it had been well defended by the keeper, since none have gotten past her. It could very well be the safest place for it.” Without another word Wong opened a portal and stepped through.

   Stephen sipped at his tea, having learned early on that Wong had a horrible habit of leaving in the middle of conversations. His mind cast back to the realm, the frigid cold, the girl. She hadn’t felt particularly threatening, unhappy even angry certainly. But upon reflection he realized that the emotion he sensed from her had been overwhelmingly lonely, the dimension seemed far from pleasant and for the first time he began to wonder if she was herself a natural born creature to that realm.

   With a tired groan Stephen pulled himself up from the couch, the Cloak giving him an extra boost, and setting his tea on the small table he began the trek up the staircase. His limbs still felt leaden and numb, leaving him shuffling more then walking, trying to get the blood flow going again. As he went he considered Wong’s words. He could see some sense in leaving a relic with such a formidable guardian, yet if he was right about her loneliness then she too was vulnerable to whatever whims a creature like her had. One day she may decide she no longer wished to protect it, might abandon her post. No, it was better if they secured the relic, brought it to the Sanctuary with all the others.

   Though Stephen would never admit it to the other Sorcerer, he had another reason for wanting to retrieve the item. The creature’s words had been swimming in the back of his mind since he had woken up. It was his natural curiosity that left him with a burning desire to speak to the creature again, to ask what she had meant when she said she could show him who he really was.

 

 

   Nearly three hours later, Stephen was sat at a desk in their sprawling library, head in his hands as the words seemed to float in front of him, wobbly and indistinct. He had found plenty on the nightmare dimension, the inhabitants there, and even how to control light within in, but nothing matched the words spoken by the creature. Now more then ever he wished he had risked a glance around him.

   “Dr. Strange?”

   He couldn’t help the full-bodied flinch at the sound of the voice. He took a deep breath as the Cloak flew over to him from between the stacks, Peter following closely behind. The tension eased, until he saw the look on the kid’s face.

   He was anxious, clear as day. Backpack was in hand, and blood stained the side of his head, his shirt collar. Amusement bubbled up inside him, “I see you managed to stay out of trouble.”

   The kid smiled sheepishly, a blush reddening his cheeks. “Please don’t tell Mister Stark?”

   Stephen rolled his eyes, “Sit.”

   Ever since Stephen and Tony’s dating had advanced past three months, the Sorcerer had found himself visited by Peter nearly four times a week, usually grinning and bouncing with energy, near bursting with so many questions. Others it was like this, the kid managing to get banged up on patrol, asking for assistance with telltale nervousness as though he would ever turn him down. It hadn’t taken long, however, for Peter to grow on him, his charisma and enthusiasm being infectious until he found himself looking forward to the visits.

   Within a few moments, the small injury on the boy’s head was gone, the stains faded from his clothing and Peter was back to his grinning self. Stephen leaned back and watched as he pulled one of the books toward him, eyes skimming before looking up at him with bright eyes of wonder.

   “Dr. Strange, what is the nightmare dimension?”

   “Another realm, quite different from most. It usually connects to our dimensions through dreams but has a…darker twist to it.”

   Peter’s brow furrowed, “Well it’s the nightmare dimension, so when you say darker you mean bad, like the horrible things people dream about.”

   Stephen pursed his lips, it wasn’t quite right. At least not from what he had read, maybe even from what he had felt. “Peter remember our perception of bad is based off of our experiences in this dimension. In the nightmare dimension it’s a little different, it had both dreams and nightmares, its focus is the truth.”

   The kid leaned back in his chair, eyes turning skyward as though trying to work out a difficult problem. Stephen couldn’t help but grin, Peter always tried so hard to engage, as though it were a necessity of life to understand everything. “So why call it the nightmare dimension? Its like saying truth is bad.”

   Stephen shook his head. “We call it that, but it actually has several different names. In the case of our dimension, like I said, it latches on to dreams which is where we find portals to an inner truth. Usually humanity is none to fond of dark self-reflections and so for us it comes out to being like a nightmare.”

   Peter groaned, “ok my head hurts.”

   Stephen laughed. “Its alright Peter, would you go order some take-out while I finish up? Tony will be here soon, and he won’t let you work on that nanotech ring unless you complete your homework first.”

   Peter grimaced, “ugh boring.”

   “His rules not mine.”

   He stood, grabbing his bag. But just as he prepared to leave he paused, Stephen raised an eyebrow.

   “You won’t tell him about the patrol mishap, right?”

   “Nope.” He didn’t mention the fact that KAREN had probably already sent a detailed report to Tony.

   “Thanks Dr. Strange!”

   He had to stifle a laugh at the tone. It was beyond him how that kid managed to save the world and not yet be affected by all he’s seen. Stephen was definitely not looking forward to a time when that changed.

   Soon enough Stephen had finished sorting the books by usefulness and subject for further review that night, a tall stack on the end of the desk when he heard distinct footsteps tapping towards him. The Cloak stiffened but he just smiled, knew it was Tony and the Cloak was just unhappy it was taken by surprise.

   “Stephen?”

   He turned to find Tony, clearly tired, hand running through his hair. But his dull eyes seemed to light up when Stephen reached a hand out to him, only to reel him close and place a gentle kiss on his lips.

   Tony pulled away, warm eyes looking up at Stephen, “Hmm…needed that.”

   “Must have been some meeting.”

   Tony made a face, hands resting gently on Stephen’s waist. “Politics, like stepping into a snake pit.”

   Stephen hummed in agreement, already sensing Tony’ next question and couldn’t help wishing he could avoid it. To his surprise, however, a hand came up to rest on his cheek, making Stephen look into his lover’s worried brown eyes.

  “Are you alright? You seem pale and your hands are shaking more then usual.”

   Instinct had Stephen pulling away, hands falling to his side. He forced a smile, “I’m fine, it was a busy day.”

   Tony nodded, “speaking of, what did you do?”

   “Wong and I continued with our dimensional exploration.” Stephen had absolutely no intention of expanding on that, could already predict the disapproval.

   Tony stepped away, one hand lingering on his arm, “The kid ordered take-out. Let’s get you something to eat and I’d love to hear all about how that went.”

   It was sincere, and something eased in Stephen. Tony hadn’t been happy about it that morning, but hopefully he had changed his mind throughout the day. “Sure.” Stephen agreed, “Just a moment.”

   He went around the desk to place his notes in the drawer, which would only open on his command. He didn’t notice Tony skimming the books on the desk but when he glanced up Tony was pale, a book in his hands flipped open to a grim and violent picture.

   “The nightmare dimension huh?” his voice was flat, eyes glued to the picture.

   Stephen tensed, posture shifting until his back was straight, head held a little higher. He was so fucking tired, and Tony was tired, and this was just not a good idea right now, but he was so sick of all this.

   “Yes.” He was careful to keep emotion from his voice.

   The book snapped shut in his hand, the _thump_ almost deafening in the sudden silence. “I take it that is where you went today?”

   “Yes.”

   Tony finally looked at him and Stephen hated what he saw there, a familiar mix of fear and haunting distress. “Please tell me it isn’t as bad as that.” He spoke quietly, the slightest tremor in his voice.

   It was difficult to keep his voice neutral, “Its not as bad as that.”

   Tony eyes roamed over him and Stephen couldn’t help the shudder that went through him. His lover had a way of looking at him and seeing so much more then he should be able to. It was something Stephen used to be able to appreciate, the way he knew things without being told…but not this time.

   “But it was bad.”

   Stephen had mixed feelings, so he didn’t bother to answer.

   “Was Wong there at least?”

   Stephen knew his face had flushed with sudden anger, volatile and hot rising inside of him, “as if I would be so _stupid_ as to do it alone.” He snapped.

   Tony winced at his tone, “Listen Stephen I’m sorry. You…you know how I am about this stuff.”

   “You mean I know how you are about _magic_.”

   Tony ran a hand over is face, his own back straightening even as his face seemed to age, it did nothing to quell the fire inside him, and for one wild moment Stephen wondered what the fuck was wrong with him, why his emotions were so tumultuous all of a sudden.

   Tony’s tone changed, impeaching him to drop it, “Stephen, now is not the time for this. Let’s just go eat, we can talk about it tomorrow when we both have slept properly and can think straight.” It was reasonable, almost too much so for Tony Stark, to Stephen’s amazement. But Stephen wasn’t feeling too reasonable just then.

   “No, I think we need to make some things perfectly clear right now because I can’t go on like this.”

   As if it were possible, Tony’s face paled again, brows furrowing. “What do you mean?”

   Stephen crossed his arms, grateful for the desk between them, when the urge to go to him washed through him. “I mean your attempts to dictate what I can and cannot do.”

   For the first time, something seemed to spark in Tony too, which caused a strange feeling of satisfaction to flow through Stephen. “No, you are mad that I try to keep you safe. Your mad that I give a damn about what you do day in and day out.”

   “That’s the point!” Stephen snapped, “you don’t need to keep me safe, I’m not Peter, or one of your inventions, I am _more_ then capable of taking care of myself.”

   Tony leaned forward suddenly, hands slamming down on the desk causing a few books to fall off. Stephen narrowed his eyes, sensing the Cloak flaring in warning. “ _You_ told me yourself that everything you do here is still training, _you_ told me magic can be unpredictable,” he lifted a hand and pointed at him to accentuate each sentence, “ _you_ told me you have died over a thousand times before, _you_ told me about the exhaustion you live with day in and day out.”

   Stephen clenched his jaw, but Tony plowed ahead, “So, I am _sorry_ if I am a little concerned about your daily activities.” The sarcasm made something tighten in Stephen. He had started this but seeing Tony glare at him like that for the first time made something crack in his heart.

   “None of the risks my job entails are in any way different to yours.” Stephen responded, tone stony. “I don’t force you to explain your every decision you make.”

   Tony slumped, head bowing for a moment. The fight from a few minutes before seemingly fleeing in one loud huff of breath. Stephen stared, unsure for the first time. His emotions were settling as though responding to Tony. A new wave of exhaustion nearly knocking him off his feet.

   Tony lifted his head and Stephen’s heart skipped a beat. His eyes were glossy with moisture as he stared at him, face tight with the obvious strain of holding back tears. Stephen had seen this many a time before in the evenings after Titan and it took every ounce of will power not to go to the man.

   “I saw you die.” It came out quiet and hurt, the familiar haunted look taking up residence again. “I saw you die Stephen, and you promised me that you would do everything you can not to let it happen again. It feels like you forgot that.”

   Stephen struggled to swallow around a lump in his throat, “I saw you die.” He parroted.

   Tony’s eyes furrowed, confusion springing up in face. Stephen had never said this to him before, had always thought it was plain as day, apparently not. “I saw you die a thousand times Tony, in so many different ways that they began to blur together until all I can remember is your blank stare, your voice screaming itself horse, the sound of your suit writhing against the rocks.”  

   Tony’s eyes had gone wide, a hand absentmindedly wiping at stray tears. Stephen’s own gaze grew unfocused, mind dredging up the dark memories, “I heard every last word you would ever say, I watched for an hour once as blood slowly dripped out of you until it was too much to survive, I remember the sound of your ribs as each one cracked, the way your skull was crushed inwards, I remember every last time you said you loved me.”

   Movement and Tony was standing in front of him now, not touching, face twisted in a mask of horror and guilt. “I’m sorry.” Tony murmured.

   Stephen blew a sigh, “You had no control over it, just like you won’t have any control over if I die again.” Tony winced but Stephen continued. “My problem Tony is that you don’t trust me. You let your fear and guilt of watching me die, of letting the Avengers die run you into the ground while you desperately try to keep us alive.”

   Tony’s breathing had grown laboured, “But _it isn’t up to you_. Our fates are not single-handedly controlled by you. Until you come to terms with that you won’t trust me, and I can’t do my job with your interference.”

   “What does that mean?” he asked quietly.

   Stephen could feel a sickly twisting in his gut, the way he yearned to reach out to the man who he loved so dearly. But he could see it, the way his future would be if Tony didn’t accept this now, didn’t understand that he wasn’t responsible for him in this way.

   “I mean we need to take a step back. Do this right. My job is not a negotiation, and just like I don’t interfere in your battles I can’t have you interfering in mine.”

   Something like determination seemed to fill Tony’s eyes, and to his surprise the other man reached out and took his hand gently. Silently he raised it to his lips and kissed along familiar scars, warmth easing into Stephen’s stomach.

   “Ok.”

   “Ok?”

   Tony nodded. “Your right, at least a little. I do trust you, I would put my life in your hands or even Peter’s without a second thought. But its this world you survive in that I don’t trust. I hate how you can disappear to places I can’t follow, I hate knowing you might disappear one day, and I won’t have any idea why or if you are alive. I ask because I want you to stay, I ask because I’m hoping one day it will all make sense.”

   Stephen knew his faced was the picture of shock. Tony smirked up at him, “I told you the night of our first date that there was no way in hell I am ever going to let you go, just tell me what you need.”

   Stephen’s heart beat rapidly as he starred down at Tony, this confrontation not going at all the way he expected. He leaned in quickly and kissed the man hard, feeling a wet laugh against his lips and then hands, wonderfully warm and strong slid into his hair, around his neck pulling him ever closer.

   “Tell me,” Tony murmured when he pulled away.

   Stephen rested his head against Tonys’ “I think we should go back to your place more often. Limit time in the Sanctuary,” he felt Tony nod along. “Lessons about magic until you get more comfortable.”

   “Communication.” Tony interrupted, “more of that would be nice, meet me halfway and just tell me when you are going somewhere dangerous. Just promise you’ll ask for help if you need it”

   Stephen was pleasantly surprised that he didn’t feel angry at that, he could trust that Tony wouldn’t hound him for details. “Sounds fair.”

   Tony pressed another kiss before turning serious eyes on him, “I can’t promise to be perfect with all this, but I can promise to try my best.”

   “Its all I can ask.” Stephen murmured, tilting his head and nibbling along Tony’s jaw line.

   After only a moment Tony laughed and pushed Stephen away, face flushed but this time with arousal. “Come on. I’m hungry and the kid is probably thinking we’re having sex.”

   Stephen obliged with a grin following the man out the door and down the stairs. They found Wong and Peter munching on Chinese food and pizza, apparently arguing about the merits of Chinese food vs Thai food.

   Peter looked up when the entered with suspicious eyes, “You guys were taking awhile.”

  Tony grabbed a piece of pizza and smiled at the kid, “helping Stephen with his research.”

   Peter nodded like it made all the sense in the world and Tony rolled his eyes. Stephen moved to grab some food but then Wong was up and nodding his head toward the living room, a glance at Tony and Peter showed they were already in deep conversation about the nanotech ring.

   As soon as they were alone a single black book appeared in Wong’s hands and he looked up at Stephen with a grave expression. Something in him dropped, that chill seeming to come from somewhere in his extremities. “What is it Wong?”

   “I have found both the creature and the relic. Its not good.”

   “When is it ever?” he grumbled.

   “No, you don’t understand. This is ancient, time beyond even magic. This will not be easy, but we can also not allow that relic to remain in the nightmare dimension.”

   “Why?”

   “It is the helm of Azangot.”

   Stephen starred at him blankly. Wong’s stoicism cracked, something akin to fear shadowing his eyes, “It means destroyer of Magic, wielder of Reality, mind breaker.”

   “That does not sound good.”

   Wong shook his head, “we must retrieve it and destroy it.”

   A laugh sounded in the other room and Stephen closed his eyes, going over all the progress he just made with Tony. This could unravel it in moments, but he had little choice. As he said, he couldn’t let his relationship with Tony interfere with his responsibilities. It turned out the creature had been right.

_“I will see you soon Stephen Strange. We will have so much fun together.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No ideas taken from the comics for this one.  
> Please let me know what you think! It keeps me motivated :)


	3. Flickering Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen has a lot of truths to face about himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright ladies and gents please get your cloaks and shock blankets and prepare for a really long ride.  
> I had so much fun with this and it ended up twice as long as it was meant to thus the late update. Sorry!

   Stephen watched as Tony and Peter poured over several blue prints being displayed with holographic images from his phone. They were in an intense conversation that Stephen had fallen behind in from the start. Instead he ate silently as Peter offered a suggestion regarding an alternate stabilization method for the tight space where the nanotech would be housed. Tony for his part nodded along with a proud gleam in his eyes and a little smile.

   Wong had left shortly after their brief conversation and was currently in the study laying out the details that Stephen would need for his next visit to the nightmare dimension. They had agreed to use the night for study and preparation, get some sleep and in the morning, he would attempt to retrieve the relic. It was less time then they wanted but was acceptable in a pinch.

   Stephen for his part was fidgeting under the table, trying to figure out what to tell Tony. He needed to send them on their way shortly, needed to get prepared but even though he and Tony had been OK there was still a tension in the air between them. Tony kept glancing at him with a small smile but unsure eyes, and Stephen didn’t really know what to do. It was a conversation they needed to have, but there was still more to figure out and he hated that they couldn’t do it tonight.

   So, taking a breath to steel himself Stephen tilted his head toward the living room the next time Tony looked up. The smile the man had been sporting faltered and Stephen detested the way his stomach felt suddenly very empty. He went to the living room, Tony taking a moment to point something out to Peter before following and as if sensing this wasn’t going to be good they both instinctively sat on the chairs facing one another near the fireplace.

   “What’s wrong?” Tony asked immediately.

   Stephen could see the nerves in Tony’s face, wished he hadn’t put it there. “I’m sorry.” Was the first thing to slip out and the other man’s face twisted into confusion.

   “About what?”

   Stephen ran a hand through his hair, annoyed with himself. “Just…I didn’t want to complicate things between us. I feel like neither of us knows where we stand right now.” He glanced at Tony looking for confirmation.

   For his part he leaned forward, elbows on knees trying to look Stephen in the eye, expression serious. “Hey, its alright. We had a moment earlier, maybe didn’t handle it as maturely as we should have.” A light chuckle. “But we’ll figure it out, I meant what I said about communication. I just need you to tell me what I need to do, and we can go from there.”

   Stephen let out a groan. “I hate how you said that.”

   He raised an eyebrow, “said what?”

   “I don’t want you just following orders or doing what I say if you aren’t happy about it Tony.”

   “No worries there, I’ve always been horrible at following orders.” The smirk was back, and Stephen couldn’t help the small smile it pulled from him. “All I meant is we need to work on it together. Even if that means we are confused for a bit.”

   Stephen frowned, gaze dropping again. “Right.”

   Tony leaned back in the chair suddenly, stretching a little. “So, are we going back to mine then tonight? You can tell me whatever got you so stressed out.”

   He looked up at his lover and whatever expression was on his face made Tony’s drop, eyes scrutinizing. “Or not?” he asked quietly.

   Stephen took a deep breath, eyes pleading with Tony not to be upset. “Something has come up, its why Wong pulled me aside earlier.”

   Tony closed his eyes, as though trying to gather himself and God Stephen hated this so much. He didn’t regret what he told Tony, but it still hurt to be in this strange little place so like the time before their first date.

   Tony blew out a sigh, before turning his dark eyes on Stephen. “Ok, magic stuff got it. At least tell me if it will be dangerous.”

   Looking at him now Stephen couldn’t help but wonder why he had been so angry about Tony constantly demanding information from him. He hated not being trusted yes, but this was obviously fear. Still something they needed to work on, but he began to think maybe his insecurities were playing a bigger role then he thought.

   There was the odd little telltale spark in his chest that made him want to tell him no, of course it was perfectly safe. He was a Sorcerer, could hold his own, but even in his worst of times he had never lied to Tony if it could be helped. So, he swallowed back that feeling and looking into his warm worried eyes he tried his best to answer it in a way they both could handle it. “Nightmare dimension, I need to secure a relic. Wong and I need to prep tonight, so I can try and retrieve it tomorrow.”

   Tony had paled slightly but it was the only outward sign of displeasure. “I understand. I definitely feel better knowing you are preparing for it.” Weak smile. “Text me when you plan to leave?”

   “Of course.” Stephen murmured, still feeling that odd tension around them. Tony seemed to be feeling it too, fingers fidgeting where they sat on their lap. Stephen wasn’t sure what to say, usually things between them were so organic, he rarely had to think about his responses, was so comfortable around him. For the first time he was left truly unsure of himself, even as his mind told him this was necessary if they wanted this relationship to survive into the future. He looked at Tony straight on finally, intending to ask if he wanted a portal home when the words died on his tongue.

   Tony’s expression was open and raw, starring at him with a familiar adoration from their many dates, from their late nights, early mornings. Suddenly he whispered a quiet, “ _Fuck it.”_ He was up and in front of Stephen in a heartbeat, one hand sliding onto the back of his neck, the other cupping his cheek. He only had time for a startled gasp before his warm lips were on his, firm and insistent. Within moments it transitioned into something sweet and gentle, moving slowly and Stephen found one of his trembling hands gripping Tony’s wrist, the other going to his hair and tightening. Tony let out a little laugh, giving Stephen a moment to breath before they were kissing again, tongues sliding in and out at a familiar rhythm.

   When Tony finally pulled away, head resting on Stephens, warm breath ghosting over each other’s face, a small intimate smile stretching across it. Stephen gasped quietly again, sucking in air, ignoring the twinkle in the other man’s eye.

   “What was that for?”

   Tony leaned back and sank to his knees, taking hold of Stephen’s hands, He shrugged, “because I love you. I wanted to make sure you knew that.”

   Stephen quirked an eyebrow before letting himself relax a little, releasing some of the pent-up stress. “Yeah,” he murmured. “I think I got it.”

   Tony tsked quietly, squeezing his hands softly. “Wrong answer.”

   Stephen smiled lightly, “I love you too.”

   “Much better.” He nodded his head in approval. After a moment his eyes turned serious again, however, and he released one of Stephen’s hands, returning it to cupping his cheek. “Promise me you’ll be careful.”

   Stephen turned into the hand, relishing the warmth, mind already thinking of the cold he would have to endure the next day. “I promise.” He whispered.

 

   Twenty minutes later, Stephen walked into the study after having sent Tony and Peter through a portal. He felt immensely better after his conversation with Tony, ready to focus on the mission without worrying about what he would need to tell him. When he stepped in, however, he paused immediately looking around in surprise.

   Wong stood next to the desk, books were arranged in a circle on the floor around two pillows where they would be sitting. There was a new large blue candle sitting in between them, papers scattered about with various notes and designs. He moved carefully so as not to step on the mess, catching Wong’s attention.

   “Finally.” Wong’s usual brand of disapproval.

   Stephen ignored him. “What is all this?”

   “Take a seat and we will begin.”

   “Forthcoming as ever.” Stephen murmured. He sat, feeling the Cloak leave his shoulders to go drape itself across the desk, clearly tired.

   Wong settled in front of him the black book from before appearing in his hands. Stephen could feel his back straighten, he body go a little lax, his mind seemingly tuning into the environment around him with its usual ease.

   “What did you find out?”

   Wong flipped open the book to a sketching of the helm. It showed an old-fashioned knights’ helmet, with exaggerated horns springing from the top. It was completely black and decorated with little cross like holes over the front. “This, as I mentioned, is the Helm of Azengot. It comes from an ancient time during the birth of magic. It was just coming into being when Azengot, a creature of the night took up a cause to find and destroy all Sorcerers. He was ruthless and left horrible carnage in his wake, unable to distinguish magic from the natural wonders of the world.”

   Stephen took the book in his hands, running a finger over the picture. A chill went down his spine, the strangest aura coming off the pages. Then to both his and Wong’s surprise the Cloak, coming from nowhere latched itself onto Stephen’s back, nearly shoving him forward and began to shiver against him.

   “Er…I think it knew him.” The Cloak tightened securely around Stephen.

   Wong frowned, but his eyes sparked with fascination. “Hmm…we were never sure how old the Cloak of Levitation was, but this definitely defies our guesses.”

   “Ok, ok, ok. Let’s focus here, what is its abilities?” Stephen asked, absentmindedly stroking the edge of the Cloak to calm it.

   Wong took the book back, flipping pages. “Like its master it drains the world of magic, attempts to feed on it so some form of Azengot can return. The havoc he would wreak could be catastrophic for the world’s reality.”

   Stephen frowned trying to work out it out in his mind. “Wong would this not count as one of those things better left stored in the nightmare dimension?”

   He shook his head, setting the black book aside and picking up another greenish grey volume, clearly weathered with age. He flipped it open and Stephen would never get used to the man’s perfect page number memory. He handed it over and Stephen skimmed it while the man talked, following his directives.

   “Usually I would agree. Except the nightmare dimension, while not magical in essence does contain magical creatures and elements. It is entirely possible that it had been building energy over the years. Not enough to get an appropriate form or even any of its usual aura, but one day it will.”

   “Which we can’t risk.” Stephen interrupted. “It would be too easy to slip into our world through a dream portal once it gets enough power.”

   Wong nodded. “Exactly.”

   “What about the creature guarding it?”

   “That I can only guess at since we don’t have a clear description.” Wong grabbed yet another book from their circle. This time a familiar volume from Stephen’s desk detailing creatures of the nightmare dimension.

   “I believe it is simply a nighling.”

   Stephen frowned at Wong, shaking his head slightly. “That doesn’t seem right. They are common enough there, what would a low-grade creature like that be doing protecting the relic?”

   “I have a theory.”

   Stephen raised a skeptical eyebrow, “just a theory? That’s not like you Wong.”

   He ignored him, “These creatures, like most are attracted to cosmic energies, which is why they feed on dreams. They enjoy manipulating dreams into nightmares, showing truths of people because they feed off of it for the duration. A human being is never closer to the world of magic, _our_ world then when they are dreaming.”

   Stephen’s eyes lit up as his mind made the connection, “so this nighling is attracted to the helm because it can sense its power. Ironically enough its been infused with magical energies after Azengot died.”

   “Yes, its likely made a connection with it by now. The nighling will probably die eventually once the helm has consumed what power it can from her.”

   Stephen was surprised by the aching feeling at those words. It had been far from kind in their short interaction yet something about her had caught Stephen’s attentions in an odd way. Her words cycling over and over for the whole day.

   “Alright, so what do I need to do to get it.”

   Now Wong’s face darkened for the first time, his eyes watching Stephen steadily. “What I’ve gathered from the words she said, I imagine you’ll simply need to pass her test.”

   Stephen shot the man a grateful look, appreciating the way he always accepted his rule to try his best not to harm anyone. Though he could tell in this case Wong wasn’t too happy about it. Stephen flipped the pages of the book in his hands until he found the passage referring to nighlings.

   “The test,” Wong continued. “Will likely involve a rather deep dive into your psyche through whatever nightmares you have until she finds what she’s looking for.”

   Stephen’s head shot up, his stomach turning sickly, nausea blooming in the back of his throat. He swore he could feel the phantom chill again, the Cloak twisting around him a little more yet again.

   Wong continued to stare at him, assessing.

   For his own part the Doctor swallowed thickly, eyes downcast again. His fingers clenched and unclenched gently, his mind swinging like a heavy pendulum between the horrors he’s witnessed, dread slithering though him as he considered the range of possibilities and experiences the nightmare dimension could play with.

   “Strange.” His voice had gentled some, causing the Sorcerer to look up at him unsure and no little worried. “I’ll be honest with you, if we could choose another Sorcerer to help us then I would have suggested it from the start.”

   “Thanks for the vote of confidence Wong.”

   The man plowed ahead in his usually brisk manner. “However, the creature seems to have latched firmly onto you, which is a fairly common occurrence. You have unfortunately been privy to some of the worst experiences of humanity which will make this task much more difficult.”

   Stephen rolled his eyes even as he offered a weak smirk. “Can’t say you are making me feel any better here Wong.”

   The other man shook his head, “not my job Strange.”

   Stephen took a deep breath. “Got it. Now how about the candle? I’ll need to be able to look away from it in order to interact and retrieve the helm. How do I keep the tie to this dimension? We both know I don’t have enough training yet to go it alone.”

   Wong nodded solemnly. “Let me handle that. I have a plan and it should be ready by morning. You need to meditate, come to terms with whatever fears you have in order to prepare yourself. Then get some sleep, you’ve looked as though you are about to fall over all day.”

   “Wow, thanks.” Stephen offered sarcastically. The smallest of smiles crooked the man’s lips before he immediately began making runes with his hands, all his attention on the candle stationed in front of them.

   Stephen got the hint. No more talk. Breathing slowly through his nose Stephen tried to ease into meditation, the same pendulum swinging his mind back and forth between experiences again. Except this time the Doctor tried to view them through a neutral lens even as his unease continued to build steadily.

 

 

   When Stephen woke in the morning it’s the best he had felt in a week. He seems to open his eyes of their own accord; his body finally having achieved enough rest to wake him without prompting from his usual alarms. There is a warm light illuminating the curtains with the promise of the sun just rising, there is a gently steaming tea on the bedside that he knows is from Wong and he feels so relaxed in the soft comforters that he could lay there for ever.

   A glance to the end of the bed showed the small fireplace embedded in the far wall blazing and crackling comfortably, leaving the room just shy of stifling, a light sheen of sweat covering Stephen’s body. It was in small actions like these that Wong betrayed his usual stoicism to his obvious concern for his friend. He had explained in detail how cold the other dimension was, what memories it often dredged up. While he slept Wong had clearly stocked the fire and prepared the tea, it was the last time he would feel warm for awhile, he knew. There were other signs of Wong’s presence, a testament to how tired Stephen had been that he wasn’t woken. Books were laid on the desk at the far end. A chair was pulled up next to the bed and the precious blue candle Wong had been enchanting all night sat on the bedside table.

   With a quiet groan Stephen forced himself to sit up and swing his legs off the bed, grateful for his rested mind as he stood and made his way to the kitchen, tea floating along beside him. His hands were always to shaky this early. He found Wong gulping down a cup of coffee, a book still laid out in front of him.

   “Wong I really hope that his personal reading because there is no way I can learn anything more in the time we have left.”

   Wong glanced up at him and shook his head. “They are protection spells Strange. With you luck I expect things will not be uneventful in this realm while I wait.”

   Stephen shrugged, it was probably true.

   “Do you feel prepared?” Wong asked, back to scrutinizing.

   He wiped at his eyes and figured honesty was the best route. “I doubt it.”

   Wong nodded like that was exactly what he expected to hear. He turned back to his book, flipped pages rapidly while Stephen went about making breakfast, eggs seemed like the wisest choice. While they fried there was an insistent buzzing from the counter, Stephen realized it was his phone. He knew exactly who it was, and the moment he picked it up Wong stood and levelled a stern look on him.

   “We begin in forty minutes.” The don’t be late was clearly implied, before he turned on his heel and walked out.

   Stephen looked down at the phone in hand, his mind finally cognitive enough for his anxiety from the night before to make itself known. Yet, it wasn’t just that, somewhere in the back of his mind was an insistent anticipation to return to the dimension and see exactly what this test might reveal.

   Stephen flipped the eggs while accepting the call from Tony which still lit up his screen. “Hey.”

   There was a relieved sigh on the other end making Stephen frown. “Hi, sorry. You didn’t text me.” His voice held a familiar roughness that suggested he hadn’t been awake long either, and Stephen couldn’t help the flash of heat that went up his spine.

   “I haven’t gone anywhere yet.” He murmured.

   “Oh. How are you feeling then?”

   “I’m alright. We are preparing to give it a shot in forty minutes give or take.”

   There was silence on the other end as Stephen plated the eggs and sighed quietly. “What’s wrong Tony?”

   “Nothing, really. I just wish I was there to look at you.”

   Stephen couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. “Sappy.” He teased.

   “Hmm… very. Should I expect to see you tonight?”

   Stephen set the phone down on speaker, so he could better focus on the utensils in his trembling hands as he leaned against the counter. “I’m not sure yet, honestly. It depends how much success we have, how tired I am.”

   “That’s alright.” He said quickly, “focus on taking care of yourself.”

   Stephen contained another sigh. This was in fact still progress even if he could sense the concern emanating across the line. He understood like always, but he really didn’t need anyone doubting him right now, not when he was doing it enough himself. Stephen opened his mouth to reassure the man when there came a sudden angry cry of “TONY!” on the other side.

   He muffled a laugh as he heard Tony mutter a quiet “dammit.” And the very clear sound of Rhodey’s unhappy voice. “You did _not_ forget about the meeting again!”

   “Sounds like you need to go.”

   “Yeah,” came Tony’s dejected voice, before slipping into something warmer. “Be careful ok? I love you.”

   “I love you too Tony. I’ll text you when I get back.”

   “Thank you.” Came a grateful whisper, then the line was cut off to Tony’s indigent “Hey!”

   Soon enough Stephen was seated on the bed watching as Wong finalized some incantations on the room and the candle. They had agreed that it would likely take much longer then the first trip, so he might as well be comfortable in bed, and at least Wong would have control of the temperature while also maintaining protective charms to guard Stephen’s body.

   He listened intently as Wong explained what he had done to the candle while he worked. “I have infused a duel purpose to the candle. Essentially the flame will be able to act both as your tether and your life force.”

   Stephen glanced at it, “that doesn’t sound very good.”

   “Perfectly safe.” Wong insisted. “By tying it to your life force you won’t need to maintain your focus while in the nightmare dimension. It should simply stay with you where ever you go, plus it will help me monitor your health should I need to pull you out again.”

   “Just to be clear. If the flame goes out…?”

   Wong turned to look at him, he seemed a little apprehensive suddenly. “It would not be advisable. The flame in the nightmare dimension will simply be a mirror of this one so there is no way it could accidentally go out on your side. However, if it should go out here you would lose the tether and be lost to the nightmare dimension.”

   Stephen blinked at him slowly. “And my body?”

   “Comatose. Likely would only survive an hour or so depending on the strains of your metaphysical self.”

   “Wow, that sounds so safe.”

   Wong glared at him. “Just lay down on the bed.”

   Stephen did as he was told, shooting Wong his own look. He was dressed comfortably in wraps he usually reserved for training and the Cloak was fastened securely around him, Wong insisting that it would add an extra layer of protection to his body which was true enough.

   “Alright. Now its just as before. Try to keep your head and remember nightmares are but truths we don’t want to see the light. But they do not define us, it is how we treat them that does.”

   Stephen turned his head slightly to look at Wong, “I can’t tell if that is deep or incredibly shallow.”

   Wong crossed his arms with a huff. “Fine. How about at this point making friends with your nightmares is your best chance of survival?”

   “Hmm… sounds more like you but still disappointing.” Stephen frowned, “wait isn’t that from a Katy Perry song or something?”

   Wong paled. “No.”

   Stephen levelled a disapproving look at the man. “I thought we talked about improving your taste in music?”

   Wong waved his hand, lighting up the candle which sent a wave of drowsiness through him. “Shut up Strange and stop tempting me to just leave you in the nightmare dimension.” He growled.

   Stephen just smirked before settling back on the bed.

 

 

   Just like the first time Stephen’s first observation as he felt himself fade and then solidify was the cold. He was standing and already coolness seeped into his boots and wrapped around his toes. He inhaled a breath, chilly as before but much more tangible then the first time. Opening his eyes slowly Stephen took in darkness infinite around him, a glance down showed his feet pressed against something without anything real beneath his boots. He raised a hand in front of him, could only make out a distinctive paleness but couldn’t even identify a nail. For a moment he was distracted, attempting to get his bearings, heart rate increasing with an odd sense of claustrophobia even as his sensed told him he was surrounded by open space.

   Then like a switch he remembered. The candle, he didn’t see it. Panic swept over him, intense in a way that felt natural to this dimension as though his emotions were being amplified. Stephen gritted his teeth and forced calming breaths, hated how it stung his teeth on the way in. Slowly he spun in a circle, one step at a time, a hand splayed out in front of him, vulnerable to the chill now working its way up his legs. He had turned the opposite way and with a sharp intake of breath he spotted the candle, sitting on the none existent floor a few paced ahead. It had an ethereal quality like himself almost none of the light pierced the darkness, yet it almost seemed more firmly rooted in the other dimension. He doubted he could even touch it.

 _“Dr. Strange!”_ A delighted laugh filled the air around him, echoing off invisible walls. This time it was certainly a little girl.

   He stiffened, casting his eyes about. Suddenly the darkness seemed to lift, some shades of purples, blues, and greens slicing through it like little slivers of spotlights. He couldn’t help but squint his eyes in the fantastical colours, trying to shake off how disorienting it was.

_“You took a long time.”_

   Stephen spun around, hearing the voice behind him now. Only he found nothing again. There was no point in playing games really, best to get things done quickly. “Sorry about that.” He called out. “I got a little busy. But I’m here now and would very much like to meet you.”

_“Yes, I can’t wait to get started!”_

   Stephen turned again but this time when he finally laid eyes on the creature his heart stopped. His breathing faltered, knew his face had gone pale, and all thoughts of his freezing limbs disappeared as he stared in mix of shock and horror.

   “ _What?”_ she giggled. _“I must look better then the last time you saw her.”_

   Stephen could feel the sting behind his eyes, the painful sob fighting its way to the top of his throat even as he worked to force it all back. He had been taken painfully unaware, hadn’t expected this to be the first it latched onto.

   She was eleven, hair cut into a short dark almost black bob which perfectly framed her young round face. Her skin was olive and the green of her eyes were as bright and striking as they had been the first time he saw her. She was half Asian on her father’s side, and although it was obvious the shape of her face favoured that of her mother. She was painfully skinny under the hospital gown she wore, her arms even had red marks doting where the IV fluids had been, a white bandage, partially soaked through with blood clung to the side of her head where hair had been shaven off.

   “Hailey?” he murmured. It wasn’t fucking real he knew it wasn’t. Nighlings had complete control in this realm but this was so far from what he had expected. It felt as real as the day he operated on her.

   The girl, he refused to call her by the name of the person she had stolen from his mind, looked at him with wide surprised eyes, before a grin spread over her face. Something inside him cracked painfully, an old wound long thought healed beginning to seep again.

 _“You remember her? Amazing Dr. Strange. You are already defying expectations_.”

   “Of course, I remember.” He spat. How could he not? After all it was his hands that killed the girl, that were off just by a bloody centimeter. Everyone had told him the procedure was impossible, but he knew it wasn’t, he had just slipped up, too many late nights, exhausted days.

   Her grin only grew wider when he snapped at her. She danced around him, but this time Stephen didn’t move, trying to get his head on straight. The cold had reached his torso, icy and unbearable.

   “ _Hmm but I wonder Dr. Strange. Do you remember because it hurt you to end a life so young or because it was a failure? We both know how you hate to fail.”_

   Another reply was on his tongue, sharp and angry but when he felt a ghostly hand dance across his back bringing with it a new line of ice he forced himself to close his eyes and take deep breaths. This was her test; her test was truth, figuring him out. If he didn’t yield and answered her questions honestly it should bring him closer to retrieving the helm. At least that was what he and Wong figured.

   “I remember because she was the youngest patient to die on my table.” He could practically sense the creature’s displeasure where she stood behind him, so even though the words felt like poison as they came out Stephen made himself choke them up. “And because it was the most significant failure at the time. I was capable of the surgery and I was angry she had ruined by perfect track record until then.”

   The presence moved in front of him again and when Stephen cracked his eyes open he was surprised to see a look of sympathy gracing the girls face, mixed with a sparking excitement. As he looked at her in confusion the cold quickly began to seep away. He looked down realizing there had been a steady frost creeping up him that now turned to water instantly. Ah, so the cold was to be a punishment for dishonesty.

   “ _Oh Dr. Strange I was right. You will be so much fun.”_

 

 

   Wong had fucked up.

   He could admit it; his research was clearly flawed somewhere along the way but no matter how many books he frantically looked through he was not finding the answers he wanted. He was currently starring down at Strange who was laid out on the bed, the candle flickering on the bedside with concerning rapidness, trying to figure out where he went wrong.

   The moment Strange had slipped into the dimension the aura of the room had shifted. Something dark and eager slipping in around Wong’s extensive defenses in the space of seconds. Now it seemed to hover around, immaterial and waiting with obvious dark intent. Wong had tried immediately to pull Strange back as he had done before only to find there was a block of sorts keeping him from reaching the other man’s mind. Usually he could create a latch no matter how thin, but something was holding him back which meant the only way for Strange to return was for him to do it himself. Unless of course Wong could find an alternative in his beloved books, yet just as he was considering going to the study to look for something useful a thin layer of frost began to appear on Strange’s boots, working its way up.

   Essentially, this was a disaster. Things in the nightmare dimension should not be affecting the physical body left in their own. At least not extensively, nothing beyond chills. Which meant Wong was loath to leave the room, especially with the dark presence hovering about. He now had to worry about the damn candle, Strange’s physical protection, and his metaphysical stupidity while also figuring out where they went wrong. It was moments like this that Wong truly wished he had opened up a small antique bookstore, maybe with a wonderful little café attached instead of committing to the bloody mystic arts.

   It was obvious that whatever was going on, the nighling creature wasn’t what he thought it was. The priority now had to be either waking up Strange or figuring a way out to send him a message that was had more accurate information about what he was dealing with. And the only way to do that was for Wong to get access to the library, but he couldn’t leave Strange’s body unsupervised. He let out a loud groan.

   “Dr. Strange?” A familiar voice called up the stairs, catching the Sorcerer’s attention. “Wong? Is anyone here? I left some textbooks here last night”

   Ah, that could work.

 

   The creature hopped forward in front of him leaving Stephen to follow silently, heart still beating painfully in his chest every time she shot an eager grin at him. Seeing that face over and over where it used to only take up residence in nightmares was leaving him distinctly nauseous. He tried to focus on why he was here, eyes glancing over his shoulder every few minutes to check for the candle. If he didn’t retrieve the helm, who knew when someone else would get it. It would be like leaving a ticking time bomb against magic just waiting to explode in their faces.

   “ _Stephen why aren’t you paying attention to me?”_

   He looked up and had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from crying out. The girl was gone and before him stood Christine, face sad in a horribly familiar way while she tilted her head in question, she was dressed in her usual nurse garb. It really wasn’t so bad as seeing the little girl again, this one he had been prepared for, which must have been obvious because Christine’s image pouted in a way that was most definitely unlike her.

   “I don’t think you’ll get what you want from me with that.” Stephen tried with a tired sigh.

   “ _Its not about what I get Dr. Strange. This is about who you are.”_

   Her images seemed to fuzz slightly, going indistinct for a moment. Now it was still Christine except her hair was down and she was dressed like the day he had snapped at her and kicked her out of his apartment. It caused a regretful little ache in his chest but that was all. Her image approached him slowly, eyes looking at him with familiar warmth.

   “ _Stephen? Did you ever really love me?”_

   “Yes.” He whispered.

   “ _Then why did you treat me like that? I loved you so much.”_

   The creature raised her hand to his face, cupping his cheek and Stephen allowed himself one moment to pretend, letting the warmth soak into his skin. The air was cool, but he was no longer freezing.

   “Because it was easier to hate you, then to hate myself.”

_“Thank you.”_

   He shivered because fuck it sounded so like her. She claimed to have forgiven him long ago, and they still kept in touch, but he had never realized how heavily her memory still weighed on him even though he had found happiness with someone else. The creature stepped away suddenly a mischievous sparkle appearing in her eyes and something in Stephen’s stomach dropped, hoping she hadn’t read into that. But the expression on her face warned him she did.

   Her voice shifted again, “ _Don’t worry Dr. Strange. We aren’t quite there yet_.”

   Dread slid up his spine.

 

 

   “So, let me get this straight.” Peter said slowly, eyeing Strange’s prone form on the bed. “You sent him to the nightmare dimension without a way back to get some powerful fancy helmet that might destroy magic and also there is something evil hovering in this room, so I need to protect him from something I can’t see?”

   Wong glared at the kid, immediately doubting his decision to get him involved. “All you need to do is sit in that chair. Don’t let the flame go out and call me if something unusual happens.” He answered tightly.

   Peter raised a skeptical eyebrow and Wong swears Strange taught him that move. “Ok sure. But how do I tell magic from unusual stuff?”

   Wong had a migraine. “Just look at the room. If anything changes call me. This is serious Peter, life or death for Strange.”

   He watched the kid as his back straightened suddenly face growing serious as he offered a short nod. “Ok I got this.”

   Wong opened a portal and ran a hand over his face. “Just do homework or something.” He moved to step through when Peter called him back right away, he muffled a groan of irritation. “What?”

   The kid offered a sheepish look, and dammit how can you be angry at that? “I was just wondering if I should maybe call Mister Stark about this…”

   Wong looked over at Strange, he was very aware if the issues the two had been having, listening to Strange complain for weeks now whether he wanted to or not. “Not yet.” He decided and disappeared through the portal. He was hoping Kamar-Taj had at least a few books that could clue him in.

 

 

   Something was wrong.

   Stephen could already sense it with just the two encounters under his belt. They kept walking, the darkness remained and saw little outside of the scattered spotlights. The creature for her part was dancing in front of him again, seeming to play some made up game with the lights. She was back in Hailey’s form much to his annoyance, and he couldn’t help the small inkling of pity he felt as he watched her jump from spotlight to spotlight, obviously bored.

   As if sensing his thoughts her head snapped up to look at him, something dark in her eyes and a twist of the lips making her seem far less human then her form should. He paused feeling a breeze brush past him from no where, a series of papers suddenly falling from above, he couldn’t tell what was written on them, all fluttering gently out of his reach when he tried to grab one.

   “ _Isn’t boredom a horrible thing Dr. Strange?”_

   He looked back at her and for the first time saw something like judgment in her eyes.

   “What is this?” he asked.

   “ _Shh…just watch.”_

    He did and soon enough the papers scattered along the floor started to turn red, one by one. The entire place lightening slightly as if to make sure he got a clear picture of it. Then kept going colours flipping until there were but a handful still white covering the floor.

   “ _Remember all those cases you turned down because they were boring? The red ones are dead.”_

   His breath came a little quicker, so he recited the familiar mantra in his head, that this was not real and a nighling would have no way of knowing who these people were and who was alive. Yet, still a wave of exhaustion washed over him, powerful in the way it seemed to move through him like a wave. He glanced down and for a moment he swore he saw his trembling hands flicker. Stephen turned around hastily, approaching the candle still sat on the floor, having silently been following them this whole time. The flame was moving slightly but other then that there was something else he noticed. It had been a long candlestick, to allow for many hours in this dimension should he need it, but it was already melting in large rolling wax drops. If he had to wager a guess nearly two inches were gone.

   The creature appeared across from him suddenly, making Stephen jump. Her young face smirked at him even as she leaned in close, a hand experimentally going through the flame. It remained unaffected to his relief.

   " _Don’t tell me you are thinking of leaving already?”_

   Stephen frowned at her, she almost looked pleading, yet also severe like it would be the greatest breach of trust to leave now. It only made it harder looking into Hailey’s face. “No of course not.” He murmured.

   She clapped suddenly, two hard smacks and another tinkling laugh. “ _Then we better get to it.”_

    Stephen stood slowly, mind still fixated on the shorter candle. Something about it was nagging at him as though it were trying to send a message.

_“Come now Dr. Strange. Don’t you want to retrieve the relic?”_

   His attention snapped back at the low taunting voice that had become distinctively male. Stephen was prepared, yet he still found his hands coming up instinctively with intent to produce a spell or rune. Before him now stood Mordo, eyes filled with the same contempt as when he walked away from him.

   Stephen let his eyes roam over the man he hadn’t seen since the battle with Dormammu, since he had violated the very laws of nature, it was odd. The man had been one of his first true friends in lord knew how long, had also been his teacher no matter how difficult a student Stephen had been. He could admit that having the man walk away from him after what he believed to have been a great victory had been utterly soul crushing. His words had plagued him with doubts about whether he had done the right thing, if he was capable of this role bestowed upon him as Sorcerer Supreme.

 _“The Ancient One believed you had changed. It was a shame she didn’t live to see how selfishly you violated nature for your own gain_.”

   Stephen swallowed thickly, could feel the chill coming again as if it knew his answer already. “It wasn’t my own gain. The world would have been destroyed if I hadn’t done what I did.” He muttered.

   His gaze grew harsh and he walked up to him until he stood mere inches from his face. Stephen almost forgot that they could not physically touch each other here. _“Really Strange? Are you sure we aren’t back to your fear of failure?”_

   The cold moved far quicker then before, wrapping around his arms and fingers with a sting, breathing becoming more difficult as though little painful crystals were forming in his chest. Stephen gritted his teeth, trying to focus his mind on the helm and not the panic that was making him want to reach out to his own dimension again and slip away.

   “I did what I had to do.” What felt like an icy hand tightening around Stephen’s throat and he inhaled with a wheeze as Mordo’s expression turned furious. “But…” he gasped, and the invisible hand loosened slightly. “You were right. I should have found another way. A better Sorcerer would have.”

   The cold once again disappeared in a rush while Mordo’s eyes narrowed, scrutinizing his answer. He leaned back suddenly, apparently satisfied. As he turned away his form shrunk back into Hailey who he immediately resumed her earlier game with the lights calling back to where he stood regaining his breath. “ _You are an interesting man Dr. Strange_.” Her usual tinkling laugh sounding far more sinister.  

   Stephen stared after her, mind swirling. He had tried to prepare for that the night before, but it had still hit a little too close to home, the real reason why he found it so difficult to handle Tony’s concern. It made him feel exactly like how Mordo had seen him, incapable, impulsive, not to be trusted. Stephen threw a look over his shoulder, the candle having become a symbol of comfort. But when he saw it he froze. It seemed like half an inch had further disappeared, the wax coalescing in a small puddle around the base.

   Wong had assured him that time didn’t move so different here. Time was more or less the same so there should be no reason for the candle to be fading so fast. At this rate he likely only had another hour before it would go out. Curious Stephen tried to reach out slightly, not waking just feeling for his own dimension. He was hit with the strangest sense of wrong, like the connection was being manipulated, something dark coming from both his own dimension and feeding into this one. For the first time since arriving here, Stephen threw out his mind into the aura around him and realized it wasn’t only the nighling’s presence he felt. There was something else, more powerful more ominous waiting in the wings. He needed to retrieve the helm and quickly.

   “ _Dr. Strange!”_

   He turned, startled by the eager voice. She was pointing into the dark, eyes wild with excitement as she seemed to jump a little, “ _we have a visitor! This will move things along nicely.”_

   He followed her finger, wondering if she had read his thoughts and watched as a fuzzy and indistinct shape seemed to appear slowly. It took him all of five seconds to recognize who it was but by then the creature’s form was already shifting even as Stephen strode forward.

   “Dr. Strange?” Peter was starring at him with confused sleepy eyes.

   “Peter you need to wake up right now.” He said, quick as a whip, coming to a stop in front of him. A glance to the side showed the creature now in the form of Aunt May, face disapproving.

   “What’s going on Dr. Strange? Wong said he can’t wake you up, that he got something wrong with his notes or whatever.”

   “What?” Stephen frowned in confusion. “What do you mean he can’t wake me up?”

   He shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know. He just asked me to keep an eye on your body until he found more information.” An embarrassed blush formed on his cheeks. “I think I fell asleep.”

   Stephen’s eyes darted around, making connections to Peter’s words. “Shit.” He muttered.

   “ _Language.”_ Came Aunt May’s disapproving voice. Stephen glared at her.

   “Aunt May?” Peter was confused and no little afraid as he stared wide-eyed at her form.

   “Peter, that isn’t Aunt May ok? You need to wake up and tell Wong to look into the spirit of Azengot.”

   He was slow to respond eyes fixated on the creature. Stephen looked over his shoulder and spat. “Leave him out of it. This is between us, use your parlour tricks when he’s gone.”

   “Peter look at me.” His sleepy face turned back to him groggily. “Remember, spirit of Azengot ok?”

   “Right. Got it” he said slowly.

_“I wouldn’t do that Dr, Strange. I don’t want our fun cut short…do you?”_

   Stephen ignored her, already could tell she was back in Hailey’s form. He placed a hand on Peter’s forehead, well hovered above where it would be and tried to concentrate on waking him up.

   “Dr. Strange? You’ll be alright?” He already sounded more awake, his form fading quickly.

   “Perfectly fine Peter.” It was a lie of course. Especially if he was right about what was going on here. He disappeared.

   There was a growl of frustration and turned back to the creature. Her face was twisted in unhappiness, her foot stomped on the ground, hand in fists at her sides. _“Why wreak our fun? Its not like you can leave now.”_

   Stephen offered a grim smile, eyes flicking back to the candle which had lost the other half of the inch. Now that he was looking for it he could sense a tension inside him, slowly draining his energy, almost unnoticeable. “Sorry about that.” He offered. “Shall we continue?”

 

 

   Tony was staring off into space, fingers tapping absently on the smooth desk, while his chin rested on his other hand. Sitting before him was his phone, maddeningly silent as Rhodey prattled off some important parts of the meeting, apparently eager to begin on some of the projects that were discussed. He was seated on the couch, paper in hand, Tony simply nodded whenever there was a pause, mind in the same place it had been all morning.

   He was waiting for Stephen to call, fighting the urge to try and do it first like he had earlier that morning. He had no clue how long he was supposed to take but he desperately wanted to hear the other man’s voice. Rhodey had long ago accused him of being clingy, at least with serious partners. He had laughed but reflecting on himself now he could admit to being guilty, though at least he had a good reason now. Watching everyone important to you die could do that to a man.

   “Tony.”

   He came out of his head, glancing down at the dark phone immediately and sighing at the dark screen. “What?” he muttered.

   Rhodey shot him a look. “Its bad enough you barely said anything during the meeting. Think you could engage for a half a minute here?”

   Tony snorted. “Do you know me?”

   He groaned. “Don’t make me take your phone away like a teenager.”

   “You would need your War Machine suit to even get close.” He warned.

   Suddenly there was a distinct buzzing and Tony scooped up the phone without bothering to look at the screen. He heard Rhodey mumble what sounded like “finally.” But he ignored him.

   “Stephen?”

   “Uh no. Its Peter.”

   Tony slumped. The hoped that had rose tumbling back into disappointment. “Oh. Hi kid. What’s up?”

   There was a nervous energy coming from the other side, Tony found himself sitting up straighter all his attention straining toward the device in his hand. “Are you alright?”

   Peter blew out a sigh and then his voice was coming quickly as though afraid Tony wouldn’t let him finish. “Actually, I’m at the Sanctuary. I’m calling about Dr. Strange. There is a bit of a situation here and Wong is researching, I called him, and he said I should call you just in case, and the candle is dying, and I’m not really sure how I’m suppose to protect something when I can’t see what is happening.” Tony listened to his rambling, feeling the blood drain from his face, hand clenching around the phone.

   “Tony are you alright?” Rhodey was standing on the other side of the desk, brows furrowed in concern. He continued to ignore him.

   “Is Stephen ok right now Peter?” His heart was beating against his rib cage in painful little bursts, hated the dark voice in his head that whispered he was right, he should have told him not to go.

   There was a pause on the line, as though he wasn’t sure how to answer and right when Tony was about to snap Peter came back. “Yes…he told me he was.”

   He took a careful breath. “I’m on my way. Get Wong there so he can explain what the hell is going on.”

 

 

   Stephen continued to follow along behind the creature as she went. He had the feeling that all the stops and starts were her opportunity to explore his mind and pick out whatever she wished to analyze next. Unfortunately, from Stephen’s guess they didn’t have much time for things to continue in this fashion. The fact that Wong was unable to wake him, was of course, a bad sign not to mention it seemed he couldn’t get out himself. His theory regarding the disintegration of the candle was that it represented his life force as it was meant to. Something here, which he suspected was not the nighling had latched on to him and was draining it. The obvious answer was the helm, it must be feeding off his magic.

   He couldn’t get himself home, and Wong couldn’t drag him which meant he needed to go through. Gain access to the helm and destroy it, but time was becoming dire. His eyes followed the girl for a moment, considering.

   “What is your name?”

   She froze, back to him. “ _Why?”_ It seemed genuinely curious.

   “I want to know what I should call you.”

   That tinkling laugh yet again. “ _Hailey of course_.”

   His jaw clenched, anger sweeping through him. “No,” he said tightly. “That’s her name. You don’t have the right to it.”

   She turned to face him now, blood had seeped through the bandage and steadily dripped down her face. Her smile grew wide, lips spread across teeth that were in no way human, sharp at the tip and yellowing with age. “ _I’m a nighling Dr. Strange. I have the right to anything in your mind that I choose_.”

   He swallowed, and her eyes lit up as though something just occurred to her. It seemed provoking her had worked and he tried to ignore the twisting in his stomach as everything began to lighten around him in hues of orange. He blinked rapidly as he tried to adjust to the light. He glanced around, and a feverish heat swept through him, his legs trembled with uneasy weakness, and his insides nearly collapsed with anxiety.

   This was Titan.

   He could feel the lightness of gravity, the dust coated his throat, and craters were sprinkled about indicating this was after the battle with the moons. He turned to her sharply, in theory this would have been an easy choice for a nighling except there were no truths associated here only trauma. He couldn’t imagine what she hoped to gain from this.

   She shook her head, anticipating the question and pointed. Stephen turned and felt tears sting his eyes, struggled not to just close them and fall to his knees. Appearing as though conjured from mid air were bodies, thousands of them scattered in the dirt across the orange planet. He recognized every single one, recalled every final breath, every battle that brought them to their individual end.

   They were all Tony. All in various forms telling of the killing blow. All the deaths he was forced to witness through the Time Stone.

   He breath grew laboured and he couldn’t take it. He fell to his knees eyes stuck on the body closest to him. Number thirty-six his mind supplied. Thanos had plucked him out of the air and broke his back between his hands. He died paralyzed and screaming for Peter to run. Sobs came unbidden, tears streaming down his face and falling into the orange sand which sucked it up as though it were dying. His trembling hands came to wrap around himself and still Stephen could not close his eyes, just like when he watched from the Time Stone.

   “ _Come now Dr. Strange. Its nothing you haven’t see before_.”

   Unthinking Stephen turned toward the creature and slapped her across the face, a wave of energy moving through him so that at the exact moment it made contact he became material before fading back into his ghostly form. His hand throbbed in pain, fingers twitching uncontrollably but it only helped him focus.

   Her head snapped to the side, a hand coming up to touch her cheek. Black hair sticking to the blood and bandage falling off to reveal a gaping surgical hole. Stephen watched her, panting in exhaustion, tears slowing as anger took over for grief. She looked back at him, tilting her head in consideration.

   “ _Let’s not get personal Dr. Strange_.” Her voice was high and mocking, face twisted in a snarl.

   Stephen wished he was strong enough to do it again. Didn’t bother looking at the candle which he knew had lost another inch, could sense what magic was stolen from his body for that. It was still worth it.

   He had provoked her on purpose and now had to face the consequences. After this he knew there wasn’t much farther for them to go. Which meant they were reaching the end of the test. His eyes were drawn back to the bodies, sensing that the creature was waiting for him to speak. His throat was thick from the tears, hated how his brain supplied answers to every single body he looked at, how they died, the sound of their screaming. There was no chill as he hesitated, he supposed having to stare at this was enough punishment.

   “I don’t know what you want from me here.” He said, refusing to look at her.

   “ _That’s fine Dr. Strange. We can sit here all day, maybe go for a stroll, take a closer look.”_

   The feverish heat racing through him made him slump further into the sand. Wanting to just close his eyes and disappear. “I did what I had to.” He echoed the first answer he gave regarding Mordo.

 _“Yup.”_ The creature popped the “p” uncaring.

   Suddenly he felt like he couldn’t catch his breath, familiar panic seizing his chest, tears flowing again because he didn’t want to fucking say it. “I saved everybody.” He gasped, desperate.

   “ _Sure_.” He could sense that dark presence that had been accompanying them pushing in close as though it too were eager for his answer. “ _Then what do you have to feel guilty about?”_

   His eyes landed on one particular body, slightly to the right propped up against a rock. Tony’s eyes were wide and unseeing, his suit in complete disrepair. This had been the second to last future he’d seen. There was blood still pumping steadily from his throat, soaking the suit and shirt down the front of him. It was gruesome and horrible, had been far from a quick death, yet still the smallest of smiles was plastered on his face, lips tinged red with blood. The reason was obvious, in his lap, still gripped tightly even in death with both hands was Thanos’ left hand, severed and sickly looking.

   His heart clenched painfully, fuck he couldn’t stop shaking, it was almost worse then the first time he had seen it, then all the times it had attacked him in his nightmares. As if taking pity on him the creature sat down in the dust, watching with a sympathetic little smile, its earlier brutality seemingly hidden away for the moment. “ _I hear love makes people do stupid, selfish things. But I think we can agree that this takes the cake.”_

   Stephen let his eyes flicker to the candle, tried to imagine his dimension again and was surprised by how hollow it was, even as he thought of Tony and Peter and Wong, he was filled with the horrible urge to just stay here. Couldn’t face them, Tony after this, the truth laid so bare.

   “ _Come on, I’ve done this plenty of times. I promise you’ll feel better if you just say it.”_ As if the creature actually wanted to help him.

   Stephen let his eyes bore into Tony’s dead unseeing ones, letting that possible future play over in his mind again and again. Something shut down in him, the sick feeling twisting his gut as he opened his mouth to say the words.

   “We could have won without sending half the population to the Soul Stone. There was a plan where only Tony and Nebula would have died, we got the gauntlet, went back to earth, stopped Thanos.”

   The creature nodded next to him, but all Stephen could see was Tony’s broken body, that sickly smile. “I couldn’t do it. It was the second to last future and I was already in love with him after everything I saw. I chose to let everyone experience death, let Tony go through all that trauma and pain because I loved him, and couldn’t stand to let him die.”

   The creature tsked next to him, Stephen barely heard her next words. _“What would Tony say if he knew that?”_

   The words fell from Stephen’s trembling lips, the same ones he heard every night over and over again, voice hollow and so very dead. “Selfish, disgusting, monster.”

   “ _That’s right, now how could you ever trust somebody like that?”_ Stephen hadn’t looked away from Tony’s body, so he missed the wicked grin on the creature’s face, the way her eyes flicked black as she watched the candle drip down until there was only one inch left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...that was fun?  
> This chapter is probably the most joy I've ever had with one of my stories on AO3. Please let me know what you thought, good and bad I don't bite :)  
> Final Chapter should be updated by Tuesday. It'll be a long one.


	4. Flickering Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all truths are what they seem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late upload! I've had a cold that was kicking my ass. I hope everyone enjoys this final chapter, as always turned out a little different then planed but hopefully still good :)

   Tony felt sick to his core. His mind was whirring unfettered with haunting images of Stephen hurt, dying. The very same he had to face whenever he fell asleep, whenever memories would catch him off guard in the day. His every instinct as he all but ran up the Sanctuary steps was screaming at him to protect, to find, to defend. He hadn’t wanted details from Peter, knew the kid would probably only make it worse. No, he needed Wong to lay out the facts for him, so he could find the threat and destroy it, so he could bring Stephen back from whatever dimension was trying to keep him.

   As he entered and made his way up the stairs, following what sounded suspiciously like arguing, toward the room Tony tried to control the other emotion that was rolling inside him in a ball of molten lava. He was angry and spiteful, mind going over their conversation of the past day. The moment Tony had tried to step back they had been flung into, yet another crisis and he stood facing the worst possibility of losing the love of his life. If Stephen had let him help…well he didn’t what he would have done, but maybe he could have convinced Stephen to at least not go back to the nightmare dimension.

   All of these thoughts, however, came to a screeching halt the moment he opened the door and stepped in. His eyes were drawn instinctively to the bed at the center of the room and his heart crawled its way into his throat, as his eyes began to sting. He approached wearily, only just realizing the other two occupants had fallen silent, he didn’t care. Stephen was laid out, looking eerily asleep with his hands folded carefully on his stomach, head tilted slightly to the side. Only the paleness of his face, the furrow in his brow, the slight turn of lips indicated he was not peacefully dreaming.

   Tony stopped next to the bed, his breath becoming harsher as he fought to control the storm of emotions raging inside him. He yearned to reach out but didn’t dare, saw the twitch of the Cloak as though warning, the gentle glow indicating a protective spell around his body. It wasn’t fair really, the way Stephen could just disappear on him like this, it had become the subject of most of his nightmares as of late and now here they were.

   “Mister Stark?” Tony let his fall eyes closed, refused to turn around until he could control himself.

   “Tell me what happened.”

   He felt a presence step up next to him, knew instinctively it was Wong. “He has unfortunately become trapped in the nightmare dimension. I am unable to retrieve him and according to Peter he cannot wake himself, though apparently he is alright so far.”

   That caught his attention, his mind casting back to Peter’s promise that Stephen was ok, it gave him something to focus on, he swallowed back the fear and helpless frustration and turned toward Peter.

   “How do you know he’s ok?”

   Peter was standing there anxiously under his scrutiny, hands fiddling and eyes refusing to meet Tony’s. He gritted his teeth and worked not to snap at him, though it turned out Wong had no reservations.

   “Well? Please tell Stark how you figured that out.” His tone was disapproving, a break in his usual stoic façade that told Tony things might be worse then he thought if Wong was getting emotional.

   “Ifellasleepwheniwassupposedtowatchhim.”

   Tony starred blankly until Peter finally looked up at him with a scared little spark in his eyes. “I fell asleep. Even though Wong wanted me to keep an eye on Dr, Strange.” The shame in Peter’s voice was just enough to stop the explosive anger that was clawing up in him.

   Tony blew out a sigh and forced himself to nod at the kid. “Ok, so you somehow got into the nightmare dimension that way. What did you see?”

   There was a disapproving huff from Wong, but his focus was on Peter even as every molecule of his body seemed hyper aware of Stephen’s body laying behind him.

   The relief on the kid’s face almost made him crack a smile, almost. “There was this creature there with him. She looked like Aunt May at first, then this creepy little girl. Anyway Dr. Strange told me I had to wake up and he helped me. But I needed to tell Wong to look into the spirit of Azengot.”

   Tony nodded again before turning back to Wong who was starring at the ceiling, hands flying in a complicated formation, which in turn caused little runes to spark and fade away. “Wong?” he asked.

   The man didn’t look at him, continuing whatever he was doing. “I did research it. I needed to know what was blocking our connection. It turns out the Helm of Azengot-”

   He and Peter let out a confused little noise at the same time.

   Wong only glanced at them in irritation. “It’s the relic Strange went to go retrieve. It has power, but we thought that was all. Apparently there has been some…individuals who believe it still hosts the actual spirit of the man.”

   Tony stared at him in disbelief, could almost feel the arc reactor on his chest throbbing in want of suiting him up. It took considerable self-control not to spit the next words.

   “So, you are telling me, that you sent Stephen to a foreign dimension to retrieve a relic that you barely knew anything about? Except that it was super powerful?”

   Wong finally turned to face him, his expression having gone stony as his eyes bore into Tony’s. He really didn’t care, would be more then happy if Wong took a swing at him right now.

   “Stark, you have all people should no how unpredictable things can be. How no amount of preparation, or studying, or _equations_ -” Wong’s voice had turned disgusted, “can control how things in the moment would go.”

   “Guys?” came Peter’s timid voice, which they both ignored.

   Tony narrowed his eyes. “No, its magic that is unpredictable. He wouldn’t be in this position if it wasn’t for your little experiments.”

   Wong’s voice turned dark, a dangerous little smirk playing on his lips that left even Tony unsettled. “You give me too much credit Stark. Its not me that comes up with these experiments. I do as my Sorcerer Supreme asks, I help him when he needs it instead of hindering him.”

   Tony felt that last comment barb with a painful sting in his chest, just as he knew it was meant too. The frustration was looking for an outlet, and usually Tony was so much better at controlling himself but not today. He opened his mouth to respond but was cut off immediately.

   “Wong?” Peter’s panicked voice cut the tension like a knife, bringing them both back to the moment. The kid was staring at a candle, hands fluttering uselessly around the small thing.

   It was tiny, Tony noted, hardly big enough to bother keeping lit. It was also a beautiful shade of blue, so similar to Stephen’s eyes depending on the light. He didn’t see the urgency, but Wong strode forward, hands in front of him as he continued making runes. Clearly something was very wrong.

   “What is it Wong?”

   All the bite from earlier had fled his voice, instead it turned grim. “This candle is projecting into the dimension with Strange. Its supposed to be his tie to this realm, should it go out he could be trapped there forever.”

   “Why is it so short?” Tony asked, confused.

   “That is the problem. It is shortening at an unprecedented speed. Its down to two inches when it should be at six. Something is draining it, draining him.”

   Peter raised his hand slightly and Tony rolled his eyes. “What is it kid?”

   “Er…could it be the spirit?”

   Both Tony and Wong stared at Peter who seemed to deflate. “I’ll just go sit over there.” He offered.

   Wong for his part was frowning. He strode over to the bed and picked up a book that had been sitting at the end of it and opened to a seemingly random page, eyes scanning quickly. “I think that is it.” Wong muttered.

   Tony glanced at Peter who had sat in an armchair next to the candle and apparently wasn’t listening anymore, staring intently at the flickering flame with determination.

   Tony sidled up next to Wong “What does that mean?”

   He blew a heavy sigh, today seemed to be the day for that. “It means the spirit residing in the helm is using Stephen’s magic, even his lifeforce to gain power.”

   Having a clear goal made it suddenly much easier to breath, Tony’s mind began to focus, and felt his body ease slightly. “Ok, how do we stop that?”

   “I don’t know.”

   Tony frowned. “That is so not helpful.”

   Wong’s eyes moved skyward again, and Tony followed his gaze but still found nothing. He began to ask Wong what he was looking at, but the man began speaking quietly himself. “Ever since he left there is a presence in the Sanctuary, dark, dangerous. If it really is the spirit of Azengot then it must be using Strange as its portal to our world.”

   A shiver of unease went through Tony. Another look over at Peter revealed the kid was himself pale, and his gaze darted around the room every few seconds. Obviously his spidey senses could feel it too.

   “Whatever we do,” Wong continued. “It can’t be allowed to enter into our world fully. The destruction it would bring could end us all.”

   “We have dealt with far worse by now.” Tony tried.

   The man turned his hard eyes on him in an instant. “No, not really. This would mean the end of magic, of protection of reality. You don’t even realize what it would do to people’s way of life, if they survive.”

   Tony gritted his teeth, hated how he really didn’t understand what Wong was saying at all. “Fine.” He murmured, his thoughts flying a mile a minute. “What about the thing Peter did?”

    Wong shook his head. “I can’t simply go and retrieve him from the nightmare dimension. I need to have a solid presence here to drag him back, besides I would need my own tether as well.”

   He groaned in frustration. “Can’t you use your magic to send whatever presence is here back to the nightmare dimension, or incapacitate it long enough to retrieve Stephen?”

   The Sorcerer stared at him blankly for a minute, and Tony felt himself deflate. “If that were possible Stark, I would have bloody done it already.” Wong himself seemed to pale unexpectedly a thought clearly coming to mind, as his head lowered slightly as though he couldn’t bare to look at Tony.

   In the back of Tony’s mind was a wretched little voice that told him not to trust Wong. He could see the way the man’s eyes shifted over to Stephen and lingered with a growing cloud of grief glazing them over. Everything in Tony straightened, prepared to suit up in a heartbeat if the man made one move toward Stephen.

   “Our best bet would be to put out the candle, break the connection.”

   “No.” Tony snarled. At the same time there came a disbelieving “What?” from Peter.

   Wong almost seemed crestfallen, though it was hard to tell through his usual mask. “Stephen and I discussed this at length the night before. It is the only failsafe we have should anything try to enter our realm.”

   Tony felt his suit begin to leak out over his body, sensed Peter standing defensively in front of the candle. His heart was beating heavily, and didn’t know how to battle magic, had never even thought of it. But he would not let Wong give up on Stephen.

   “Listen. I don’t want to do this. I’m not suggesting we do until there is no other choice. If the candle gets down to its last bit, I won’t have a choice.”

   Tony believed that Wong didn’t want to. But he also believed he would do it anyway if it meant saving his world. He could relate, yet he had already given so much for Stephen and he _could_ not let it end now, _would_ not. Tony kept his mask open and glared at the Sorcerer. “Go back to your books and find another way.” His tone was anything but kind, a dangerous glint that he knew the man picked up on.

   To his shock Wong nodded, eyes still lingering on Stephen. “I will spend every last moment finding a way to save him. Even if the candle goes out, it does not mean its over.” He looked back at Tony. “But you should still prepare yourself for the worst.” With that a portal opened and Wong stepped through without a backward glance.

   “Mister Stark?”

   Tony didn’t answer, still staring at where Wong had disappeared, unsure if he could bare to turn and look at Stephen with those words echoing in his head. “Yes?” He asked quietly.

   “Look.” The kid whispered, voice tight and afraid.

   He forced himself to do just that, felt himself pale drastically as another inch of the candle disappeared before his eyes, leaving it with just one. His head spun around to look at Stephen, coming to the bed in two strides, the suit disintegrating as he fell to his knees at the bedside.

   The Cloak, to his shock, didn’t react at he gripped one of Stephen’s hands gently, the shield seeming to pull back in order to admit him. His eyes roamed over Stephen. He sensed Peter behind him, still not leaving the candle unattended which he was grateful for. As Tony’s gaze reached his face, there was a painful lurch inside as though someone had just kicked him hard in the stomach. Stephen’s face had shifted into what was essentially a grimace, but far worse was the single tear that slipped its way out of his closed lids and down over his cheek. Tony suddenly felt like he couldn’t catch his breath, soon enough he was heaving, heard Peter shifting behind him in concern. His body shook from the sobs he forced back, all his fears coming to the forefront all at one for one horrible, clear moment.

   Tony pressed trembling lips to shaking hands, ignored the moisture where tears fell onto scarred, pale fingers. His eyes were squeezed closed, his mind flipping like a tv remote over memories both good and brutal. “I won’t let you leave.” He whispered. His free hand slipped into Stephen’s hair, smoothing it gently still unable to bare opening his eyes. “I told you, you are stuck with me now.”

   He took a deep shuddering breath, let it go through him in a weak unsettling wave before releasing Stephen and standing. “I have an idea kid.” Peter looked up at him with wide, hopeful eyes.

 

 

   Stephen knew he needed to hurry this along, but when he thought of standing it seemed an utterly impossible task. His legs were weak where they were folded beneath him, his whole body felt horribly achy like a high fever was running through him, and the tears that pricked his eyes would not stop no matter how many times he wiped at them.

   Stephen had known of course. There was no way he would have been able to hide this truth from the creature, but he had drastically underestimated how hard it would be to see again. It was often at the back of his mind, every day, every night, especially when Tony was there.

   The months following Titan Stephen hadn’t been sure he could survive the guilt. With each panic attack, each nightmare where he woke screaming Peter’s name, every outburst of desperate anger it had eaten away at Stephen’s soul. He couldn’t count the number of times the words, _I’m sorry_ , danced on his lips, only to be bitten back, knowing to explain could never be enough. He wanted Tony to trust him all this time, to stop worrying about him because he didn’t deserve the man’s concern, his fear. It was horrible he knew, to ask for Tony’s trust when the man didn’t know how he had betrayed it, but he still wanted to get better, wanted to prove it wasn’t for nothing. He hadn’t sacrificed all those lives just for Tony, he had done it for everyone. For all the lives he saw the man save in this very future they were living out, for Peter, for the Avengers. But it didn’t make it any less selfish.

   “ _Have you finished moping Doctor?”_

   Stephen’s eyes squeezed shut, finally cutting off the image still laid out in front of him of Tony’s bodies. He needed to see this through, he knew that. Get the Helm and destroy it so he could go home and…well he wouldn’t be up for much at that point. “Where to next?” he muttered, voice horse and thick with his tears.

   The creature stood, a glance up showed the girl’s demeanor having shifted completely. The blood and all evidence of her injury had disappeared. Her hair was tidied, and she stood ramrod straight, face serious as she gazed out across the gruesome field. She stretched one thin arm out, finger pointing at where the sun as setting in the distance. Stephen tried not to let his eyes wander any lower.

   “ _Your relic Doctor Strange. Thank you for our game, didn’t we learn so much together?”_ For the first time her voice sounded dead, all the earlier emotion, good and bad fleeing into emptiness.

   Where she pointed there was a black wood chest that seem to appear on an outcropping of rocks rising above the bodies, dead center. Blackened metal along its edges glinted in the fading light, ominous and dark just like the presence around them.

   “Just like that?” Stephen asked quietly.

   She shrugged. “ _No lies Doctor Strange. You and I both know it is not simply a plain old relic.”_

   He nodded and with a groan got first to his knees, then wincing, to his feet. His trembling hands wiped away the tears. As he began to make his way forward, already dreading having to look where he was stepping, the creature spoke again.

   “ _What is your plan, might I ask?”_

   Stephen didn’t turn, kept his gaze fixated on the chest. “I can’t say I have one in particular.”

_“You will not be the first to have died facing Azengot.”_

   That made him look over his shoulder at the creature who was herself staring into the distance, expression grim and perhaps a little disappointed. “So, it really is him. He’s attached to the helm.”

   She nodded, meeting his eyes again. _“You should know, if you lose to him, he’ll be powerful enough to return to your world.”_

   Stephen felt a shiver move through him, yet also familiar determination thankfully bringing clarity to his mind, that he so desperately needed. “Then I better not lose.”

   She snorted, so very different to the tinkling laugh of their hours together. Oddly enough Stephen couldn’t help the small smile that twitched up at the corner of his mouth. She waved a hand in front of her and to his surprise the innumerable bodies seemed to shift like ragdolls in an invisible wind until there was a clear path to the outcropping of rocks. He nodded his head in thanks, took a deep breath and went to move forward only to feel a sudden freezing hand gripping his arm, forcing a shocked gasp from his lips.

   The creature was gripping his elbow, her touch frigid and piercing. Her expression, however, was scrunched into confusion, eyes unseeing. “ _Wait a moment Dr. Strange. It would appear you have a visitor_.”

 

 

   “Mister Stark are you sure this is a good idea?”

   Tony waved Peter’s concern away from where he was sat comfortably in the armchair closest to Stephen. “It’s the quickest way to induce sleep.”

   Peter was peering at the small needle in his hand, head cocked to the side in confusion. “But this won’t be a true a sleep will it? Its artificially imposed which means you won’t have a REM cycle, which means you can’t dream.”

   Tony stared at Peter feeling pride bubble up in chest as he looked at the kid.

   “Wouldn’t it be more conducive for me to knock you out instead?”

   And the bubble popped. Tony let out a tired sigh, wiping at his eyes. “No.” He explained carefully. “This isn’t as powerful as the typical sedative. All it does is enhance melatonin production in order to allow me to slip into a more natural sleep. Shouldn’t stop REM at all, if anything it’ll get me there quicker.”

   Tony rolled his sleeve up quickly and laid it out for Peter who looked like he was still working through his words. “Peter seriously, hurry up. It’ll still take about five minutes.”

   He felt the needle prick into a vein on the first try, a familiar burn moving into Tony’s bloodstream and already his eyes felt heavy. Drooping and fuzzing the picture of Peter on his knees, Stephen on the bed behind him. He distantly felt a gentle pressure on his neck, the kid checking his vitals for sure. Soon enough all of that faded, and he fell thankfully into slumber.

   When he came too it was to an absolute nightmare. It shouldn’t have surprised him really, considering where he was going. But the moment his eyes fell on orange sand, dusty air, moon seized craters panic burst in his chest. He fell to his knees, breaths coming in desperate gasps as he squeezed his eyes shut trying to make it go away.

   A hand on his shoulder or above his shoulder made Tony scramble back, eyes flying open. It took him a solid eight seconds to recognize Stephen’s pale, fearful face hovering in front of him, one trembling hand reaching out. He followed the way his lips moved until, as if coming from underwater the words began to reach his ears.

   “Alright? Its not real Tony, Thanos isn’t here, you are safe I promise.”

   Tony nodded, trying to get a hold of himself, of his heart thundering in his chest. Stephen moved forward carefully, a hand resting just above his chest showing him how to control his breathing. Soon enough things began to clear a little, Tony’s mind reminding him of another urgency.

   “Stephen?” he gasped.

   “Its alright Tony. You need to go.”

   He shook his head kept his gaze on Stephen, ignored his surroundings even as his peripheral told him there were bodies behind the Sorcerer. He didn’t want to know just yet. “No, Stephen its you that needs to wake up right now. Something has happened-”

   “I know.” Stephen cut him off, hand on his shoulder rubbing soothing circles just above it.

   “What?”

   “The spirit of Azengot. I’m trapped here unless I destroy the helm Tony.”

   Tony clenched his teeth, felt his heart speeding up for a completely different reason. “No, Stephen you need to wake up right now. The candle is going to go out, you woke up Peter and you are telling me you can’t force yourself awake with all the magic bullshit you have.”

   Tony detested the sad expression that came over Stephen’s face. “I might be able to, but it doesn’t matter Tony. The helm needs to be destroyed, the spirit is too powerful, it won’t take much for it to regain its form.”

   “ _You’ll want to hurry this along Dr. Strange_.”

   Both of their heads turned. Tony realizing there was a serious young girl standing behind Stephen. “Who are you?”

   She seemed to smirk at him, eyes taking on a dangerous glint. “ _That isn’t important Tony Stark, I would ask who you are but then I already know. No, the question is do you know who you are?”_

   “Cut it out.” Stephen snapped. She didn’t seem offended, however, instead shooting him a knowing smile.

   Tony shook his head, trying to clear it. “You won’t wake yourself up?” He tried to keep the desperation from his voice but from the expression on Stephen’s face it didn’t work.

   “I’m sorry. No.”

   He took a heavy breath. “Fine. What can I do to help you?”

   Stephen stared at him, and as Tony watched as something ancient and sad seemed to swell in his eyes. A sick, uneasy feeling rose in him and for the first time he let his eyes wander to their surroundings, his breath caught the moment his gaze landed on the sea of his bodies covering the earth. How the hell did he miss that? He thought he understood the look in Stephen’s eyes now, swallowed around the lump that told him this is what Stephen had seen in the Time Stone.

   “Looks like I’ve seen better days.” He tried to joke weakly.

   Stephen had gone tense, eyes fluttering closed, a horrid look of despair that broke Tony’s heart. He wished he could touch his lover, comfort him like he usually would instead all he had was his words. “Tell me what you need.”

   “Nothing,” came his reply through unmoving lips. “Go home Tony. There isn’t anything you can help me with here.” He eyes remained closed.

   “Hey-”

   “ _Well there is something Dr. Strange.”_

   Both men looked at her again, equal parts confused. She was sitting cross-legged beside the rapidly shrinking candle, though it almost seemed to have slowed in comparison to earlier. Her gaze was fixed on Stephen who was staring at the candle with a perplexed expression. Tony watched as something like understanding seemed to dawn, and he looked at the girl again who just shrugged.

   “ _Make it quick.”_

   As if her words had set off an invisible timer Stephen snapped back to him, eyes alight with new energy. “There is something Tony, but you need to do as I say.”

   “Anything.” He said automatically.

   “You need to return home, get Wong and tell him to prepare to find our connection again. Once the helm is destroyed there will be nothing blocking us, but he’ll need to act quickly.”

   Tony nodded, following his words.

   “But first I need you to put out the candle ok?”

   Tony froze. “What?”

   “Tony please.”

   “Stephen NO!” Tony exploded, going to his feet quickly followed by Stephen. “If that candle goes out you’ll be stuck here.”

   Stephen took a deep breath, “I am very aware of the fact. But we can’t risk Azengot finding a way to our world. Its been my magic giving him power, but its my connection to our realm through the candle that he’s been using to pull himself through. Break the connection and he won’t be blocking Wong from the other side anymore. Just here.”

   It made sense, but Tony hated it. Helplessness washed through him, couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Stephen here alone, to do battle alone. “What if you lose?”

   Stephen looked at him intently, eyes roaming over his face, his trembling hands coming up for moment, hovering in front as though memorizing it. Fear slithered through Tony. “Then I love you.”

   Tony looked up at him, wanted so much to grab him forcefully and drag him back to their dimension. Wanted to scream and yell and bang on the Earth until Stephen understood how utterly impossible this was for him. He wanted to accuse and snarl about broken promises, wanted to cry until he was red in the face. He wanted to stay, wanted to demand Stephen drag him into this dimension so he could fight, wanted to remind him that he wasn’t allowed to get rid of him.

   But instead of all that Tony closed his eyes, swallowed back all the wanting and yearning, and whispered. “I trust you.”

   He did not expect the guilt and devastation on Stephen’s face when he finally looked at him again, the way his lips seemed to tremble as though holding back unspoken words. No, Stephen nodded, and raised a hand ready to send back. It was sudden, the blackness coming over him, the sense of floating and then nothing.

 

 

   “ _We’re really out of time now. No more chit chat Dr. Strange.”_

   Stephen held the image of Tony alive and well in his mind as he abruptly turned and began jogging toward the chest. Tony’s words echoed painfully in his head, highlighted by the bodies scattered around him, but he couldn’t think of that right now. As he neared the rocky outcrop Stephen yearned for the Cloak, could almost have sworn he felt it’s weight on his shoulders as he began stumbling around the rocks.

 

 

   Tony woke with a gasp, hand flying out only to be caught by a disapproving Wong. The man was saying something, but Tony didn’t listen shaking his head roughly. He stumbled to his feet, Peter catching him when he tripped.

   “Stark what the hell is going on?”

   “Wong just listen, we need to put out the candle. Stephen is dealing with the Helm and you need to pull him back with the connection.”

   To his credit the man only stared for a moment before nodding and striding over to the bed, eyes closing as he began to chant, clearly working on it already. Peter for his part had gone tense, eyes moving deliberately skyward, the hair on the back of Tony’s neck stood up.

   “Mister Stark I think-”

   Tony had just been reaching for the candle when suddenly the flame rose up wildly to twice the seize making him lean back in surprise. It scorched the wall behind it, a black mark standing out vividly.

   His suit began to slip out immediately as a loud crackling was heard behind them, both Peter and Tony turned towards it to find the fireplace flaring up as well, logs crisping in moments and sparks flying out.

   “Nothing is ever easy.” Tony muttered. “Candle duty kid, I’ll deal with the fireplace of death.”

 

 

   Stephen had reached the chest with little issue, but he knew it could never be that easy. He kneeled in front of it, ignoring the sting of the rocks on his knees. He began a series of runes, searching for any unexpected failsafe. He found none, yet the moment he reached for it something grabbed him by the back of the tunic effectively flinging him back and into a pointed rock. He gasped as the air in his lungs left him in a puff.

   There was a shadowy figure standing above him, it seemed almost like smoke shifting this way and that in some non-existent breeze. There were no facial features, no physical tells besides an overall human shape. Worse it made no noise as it drifted over to him, the chest behind the figure having popped open of its own accord as though sensing its master.

   Stephen managed to get to his feet, hands coming up in front of him defensively. There was a breathy, eerie laugh that seemed to carry in the air, deep and dark.

   “Right.” Stephen grunted. “A cloud, I can totally handle a cloud.”

   A burst of wind came on from no where, all of its considerable force directed at Stephen. He managed to throw up a shield a moment before it hit him, feet digging into the earth as leaned into it, still nearly being tossed back.

   “Not the only one that can play with wind.” Stephen pushed back, maintaining the shield with one hand and using his other to create a small whirlwind in an attempt to suck up the smoky figure. For all of three seconds it seemed to be working before it waved its hand effectively dispelling it.

   Stephen frowned. Admittedly that was a poor idea.

 

 

   Tony was actively attempting to stop the flames from spreading which were sparking and almost seemed to be trying to create a figure of sorts. He wasn’t having it, glad he had put what amounted to a more useful fire extinguisher in his suit, maybe Peter wasn’t so far off when he teased about him being like Inspector Gadget.

   Behind him Wong was still in his meditation, as for Peter he seemed to be struggling. A glance over showed the kid with a blanket in his hands getting ready to toss it over the now six-inch flame.

   Tony felt a wave of heat reach him from even inside the suit. In front of him stood a figure in swirling sparks, human features unrecognizable but for the shape. It didn’t appear to be focused on him, however, as it suddenly lunged toward Peter, who had quickly given up on the blanket.

   Tony threw himself in front, the sparking creature hitting it with several blasts hoping to dispel it enough to stop it. It worked for all of two seconds, Tony fucking hated magic. His mind spun for a moment, desperately wishing Wong wasn’t otherwise incapacitated.

 

 

   The smoke dissipated suddenly, Stephen froze but was still caught off guard when he was once again grabbed and tossed aside. This time he didn’t land in the rocks, instead metal shoved into his back and as he shifted he realized it was a pile of the bodies he landed in. Stephen gagged, unable to help himself as he flung himself forward, scrambling for the path. A glance to the side showed the figure approaching again, but when he looked back for a moment, he saw something shiny and blue. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it gave him an idea.

   Azengot couldn’t kill him, not yet at least. He needed to use his magic and the candle to get to Stephen’s dimension. Who knew how long that would take of course, which meant he needed to distract the thing until the candle went out. Runes, familiar, and comforting appeared in front of him and soon enough the very same butterflies he used against one of Thanos’ attacks appeared in droves.

   They flew forward quickly encompassing the smoky figure, Stephen could swear he heard some distant cry of anger as he sprinted past it toward the chest. All he needed was one solid minute, he could destroy it. Stephen threw open the chest, found the helm sitting at the bottom, within arms reach. An orange glow began to emanate from Stephen’s hands as he reached in, only to feel the same familiar grab at his back.

 

 

   Tony stood between the sparking figure and the kid when the idea came to him, so stupid it might just work. He sincerely hoped that magic could in fact be thwarted by human innovation, he really should have listened more when Stephen spoke about it. “FRIDAY I need you to get access to the Sanctuary’s sprinkler system.”

   “Of course, Boss.”

   “Peter hold the candle up toward the ceiling now.”

   He heard scrambling, and the way the sparks tilted up suggested Peter was climbing the wall and just as it seemed like it was preparing to strike out water began raining down from two small sprinklers on either side of the room.

   To his absolute shock the figure began to disappear almost immediately. He had never been so grateful for the time Peter had set them off while burning his lunch the one time they hadn’t gotten take-out when he visited.

   Tony looked back to find Peter crawling down, clothes tinged black from the candle’s hyperactive flame, but it was effectively out. They were both drenched and as Tony’s suit retracted again, a chill swept through him.

   “Thank you. You can turn them off now.”

   “Sure thing, boss.”

   They stopped and all of Tony’s attention turned to the bed, he went to the other side and couldn’t stop himself from taking his other hand. Could hear Peter at the foot of the bed, eyes zeroed in completely. He wanted to demand answers from Wong, but he was equally afraid of distracting the man who seemed so focused.

   So, heart beating wildly, Tony just leaned down to whisper in his ear. “I did my part sweetheart; now don’t you dare give up on me.”

 

 

   Stephen braced his body in preparation of another hard throw only it didn’t come. The smoky figure appeared to be flying toward the candle at the other end of the path, apparently forgetting about him altogether.

   A grin crooked the edges of his lips and he didn’t hesitate. He plunged his hands into the chest and took the helm into them. His breath caught for a moment as a wave of pure, unadulterated power washed through him in a wave, it was trying to tempt him he realized, but it was far to late for that. Stephen closed his eyes and began reciting an incantation, his eyelids turned bight orange as his hands flared up, an uncomfortable heat making itself known, before with a grunt he felt himself shoved backwards, the helm flying from his hands.

   His eyes flew open only to find a blackened mark gracing the ground and little pieces of shredded metal. Exhaustion slid through him but still Stephen began to laugh, adrenalin beginning to wear off. He let himself lay back on the ground, ignoring the ache in his back, and gulped in the somewhat fresh air, eyes staring up at the stars beginning to shine in the sky.

   “ _That wasn’t very dramatic Dr. Strange. Not at all what I pictured_.”

   “Funny coming from you.” He answered.

   She was sitting next to him, her own face seemed drawn and tired like it was her that had just used copious amounts of magic. “ _What else is one to do when Sorcerers take so long to do their job?”_

   “Sorry about that. Not like you could have given us a clue though?”

   She shrugged, uncaring. “ _You can go home now. I can sense a presence searching for you.”_

   Stephen didn’t move, didn’t bother searching for Wong in his psyche like he should have, he felt oddly fine with staying here. He tilted his head slightly so that he could look at the girl still donning Hailey’s face, she too was looking up at the stars. “You’ve been helping me this whole time, haven’t you?”

   Her familiar tinkling laugh came out her throat, body shaking slightly. She glanced down in disapproval before returning to the prettier sight. “ _Took you long enough to catch on Dr. Strange. I was told you were brilliant.”_

   “Told by whom.”

   “ _Not important.”_

   Stephen sighed. “So, you wanted me to beat Azengot and destroy the relic. I suppose you are free from whatever servitude you were under?”

   She said nothing, but the smile he saw appearing on her lips gave it away. “You were showing me things that would make the candle drain faster, would eat at my energy.”

   She nodded. “ _As long as he had that connection to your dimension he was more dangerous then you knew. I moved our tests along so that hopefully you could destroy him before he stole to much energy from you himself. I preferred you sacrifice it to your way home instead.”_

   Stephen understood really. She saw him as her best chance and she needed Stephen focused on winning a battle, not going home. Still, a hollow feeling ached in his chest, he kept his eyes focused on the stars but was hyper aware of the bodies around him.

   “ _Come now Dr. Strange. Don’t be like that.”_

   He didn’t answer.

   She seemed to groan in irritation. “ _I showed you truths of your old life. They were the truth in the moment, but a person’s own truth can change over time.”_

   “Meaning?” He asked quietly.

   “ _You no longer mourn Hailey because she was a failure but because she was a child you lost. You’ve come to terms with Christine well enough. Mordo is a sore point for you because you are horribly insecure, but you also don’t regret the decision to save the world through a bargain.”_

   It was true enough, he had thought she was going easy on him at the time. “The files?”

   Stephen could practically feel her roll her eyes. “ _Dead, but it had little to do with your decisions. Your procedures wouldn’t have turned out for them anyway, you chose well.”_

   He almost couldn’t make himself ask, but he could sense her waiting. “And here? I think you nailed it well enough.”

   She shifted, and Stephen looked at her again, she was staring around them at the bodies, before she turned to look at him, her face was scrutinizing and still so disapproving. He went back to the stars.  

   “ _You can see the future Dr. Strange when you wish to. But I can see the truth.”_

   “We established that.” Stephen said wryly.

   She shot him a sharp look, her teeth morphing for a moment into their razor edge. “ _Did you know that you are part of the only eight I have looked into who would have made that decision?”_

   Stephen blinked, “well you certainly haven’t met everyone.”

_“Its true.”_ She agreed. “ _However, I have met Tony and I know which choice he would have made.”_

   Stephen’s heart beat wildly in chest but he said nothing.

   “ _He would have chosen the same as you.”_

   “You don’t know that.” Stephen snapped, couldn’t bare to hear that lie. “He would never have sacrificed Peter.”

   As if reading his mind, she crooked an eyebrow at him, “ _I can’t lie remember? Like I said, love makes people do crazy, selfish things. But whoever said that was bad?”_

   “I killed half the world.” Stephen muttered, tears pricking his eyes.

   She huffed. “ _Don’t be so dramatic Dr. Strange. You knew better then anyone that they would be back, wouldn’t even remember the Soul Stone to boot. You saved everyone and gave yourself the possibility of a beautiful future, I’d say you’ve earned it_.”

   Those words did something to Stephen, perhaps it was because this creature could only speak the truth, even if its her opinion but it was comforting in an odd way. Still… “What do I tell Tony?”

   “ _I’m not a relationship therapist.”_ She snapped in irritation. Stephen just waited.

   A sigh. “ _Like I said. He would make the same choice as you. You tell him the truth as you always should. Even if you were in the right, the consequences of your actions are their own forms of truth you must live with.”_

   “Of course.” He continued to stare at the stars mulling over what she had said. He could face Tony about this, would have to after what his lover had seen here, but he still dreaded it.

   “ _That being said.”_ She continued. “ _I think you need to stop being a baby right now and return to your dimension. You aren’t doing your body any favours.”_

    Stephen barked out a laugh but had to agree. He almost felt himself flickering with each exhausted wave washing over him. “What are you going to do?” he couldn’t help but ask in curiosity.

_“Return to my real purpose.”_

   Stephen nodded sensing that was her closing the conversation. With a heavy sigh he opened his mind and let it wander for Wong. It didn’t take long, he had clearly been growing more agitated the longer it took. He would need to apologize for that.

   As he began to fade out he thought he felt one more icy touch to his arm, fading gently. “ _Thank you, Dr. Strange. I’ll see you around.”_

   Stephen came to with a distinctively uncomfortable feeling. The moment he peeled his eyes back he became aware first of the fact he was soaking wet and shivering. Second there were two warm hands gripping his own trembling ones. Third, the room appeared to be in a horrible state of chaos.

   He glanced around and saw Peter and Wong looking equal parts sheepish and relieved as though they both expected a reprimand. He probably should he knew, but he was far too tired, instead his attention was grabbed abruptly by Tony. The man had surged up and pressed their lips together hard, when he pulled away his eyes were bloodshot, his face was pale, but there was such adoration and relief that Stephen felt for the first time like they were on the same page. The creature’s words echoing back to him. _He would make the same choice as you._

   “Stephen come on. We need to get you changed and to sleep.” Tony was already tugging on him gently. Wong left, he knew to offer privacy before asking for his report. Tony ordered Peter to go and make a warm tea, which he scurried off to do, obviously still feeling guilty.

   Tony pulled him from the bed, the Cloak keeping him upright as Stephen realized his eyes were already drooping. It was unfair since he had literally been asleep all day. He tried to pull back in protest, needed to say it now.

   “Tony…I need to tell you-”

   “Not now.” Tony interrupted, pulling him close again and leading him from the room. “Let me take care of you.” His tone was pleading, eyes somber and loving. He had scared him, Stephen realized. Taking care of people was how the man coped and Stephen would be damned if he denied him. They had all the time in the world for that conversation and for the first time it wasn’t guilt that made him want to talk about it, it was the overwhelming urge to share his burden. He had asked Tony to trust him, and in return Stephen needed to do the same. Trust that this man loved him just the same as Stephen loved him.

   “Alright.” He murmured. “Don’t want to fall asleep though.”

   “Ok love, just for a little while. Just tell me what you need.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things I've learned on this journey: My pacing is horrible, my battle scenes need improvement, and I really enjoyed diving into Stephen's regrets and working them out a little.   
> Let me know what you think! I'm especially curious about opinion on our original nighling character. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story and encouraged me with your engaging comments :)


	5. Flickering Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen finally tells Tony the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is thanks to the feedback of the lovely Bazjack. I hope it doesn't disappoint :)

   When Stephen woke hours after having been put to bed by a fretting Tony it was to a gentle snoring behind him. As his brain slowly came back online, he became aware of a warm presence wrapped around him, arms circling his waist, steady puffs of breath tickling his neck. He stretched slightly, careful not to disturb Tony who he knew needed the sleep as much as he had, he hoped it was as dreamless as Stephen’s own had been.

   Finally, he cracked his eyes open, blinking in the dim light being casted by a roaring fireplace. A glance over showed the Cloak hanging next to it as though trying to dry itself off and Stephen smiled lightly. He couldn’t be more thankful for Wong’s knowledge of a spell to dispel the water that had drenched the Sanctuary, of course he shouldn’t be surprised with all the invaluable books they had. The man knew every protection charm there was.

   There was a gentle hum behind him and Stephen worked not to stiffen. Tony was still asleep, snores steadily sounding, but he had to fight against the horrible urge to slip out from beneath the covers and disappear for awhile. He wanted, needed to tell Tony the truth, but that didn’t stop his heart from beating rapidly with anxiety, or the tears pricking his eyes, or the way his breath sped up of its own violation.

   It was easy to believe the creature when she said Tony would have made the same choice, but she also only met him for all of two minutes, he didn’t know how fast nighlings could read the human brain, so he was swimming in doubt.

   “Stephen?” the snoring had stopped without him even realizing it.

   He didn’t turn, didn’t respond, kept his eyes focused on the heavy drapes covering the window. It was so much easier this way, though he couldn’t help wondering if it made him a coward. A hand unexpectedly smoothed through his hair, front to back, fingers scraping along his scalp in the way Stephen loved so much, trying to be comforting he knew. Tony had always had a sixth sense when it came to how Stephen was feelings.

   “You ok?” he whispered, breath warm and concerned in his ear.

   “No.” He answered honestly.

   “What’s wrong?” His hand didn’t stop his ministrations, but he felt Tony stiffen slightly, his other hand sliding down Stephen’s side as though looking for injury.

   “I need to tell you something.” The words felt like poison on his lips, his mind working over time to remember this peaceful moment.

   “You don’t need to, it can wait if you want.” Tony murmured, Stephen knew he was thinking of Titan, the bodies laid out.

    “No, I don’t think it can. Not any longer.”

   Stephen could practically sense the apprehension blooming in Tony, could imagine the way his expression would turn uneasy, felt how he pressed himself a little closer, feet tangling together. “Ok, I’m listening.”

   “I’ve been lying to you.” He said quickly, feared they would become trapped on the way out.

   The hand in his hair paused, pulled back to just rest on his waist again, unmoving either way. Both just resting against him now. Stephen’s eyes began to burn as he stared hard at those dark drapes, eyes becoming blurry with unshed tears.

   “I lied about Thanos when I said there was only the one way.” Stephen’s trembling hands clenched into a fist, a sting protesting in the joints as he squeezed them, appreciated the way the pain cleared his mind for a second. “All those possibilities I saw a few viable options, but in every single one of those you were dead, and with you Peter, or Quill, or Nebula, or Mantis.”

   There was a sharp intake of breath, painful sounding. It cut through Stephen like a knife, gut twisting roughly as the tears leaked over and began their descent down his cheeks. “We…well Quill and Drax, managed to retrieve the Gauntlet, kill Thanos. It took a few weeks but eventually all of his generals were tracked down, his army forced back.”

   These very images rose up behind his eyes, seeing it all unfold again. It hurt but not as much as before, he realized. It was because he didn’t regret it, he felt guilty for the hell he put Tony through, for the lives that felt such horrible fear in the moment of the snap, but he thinks he would do it again. Even if this was where he and Tony were to end.

   Movement as he felt Tony roll away from him, cool air ghosting against him as the blanket pulled. He didn’t need to turn over to know Tony was staring blankly at the ceiling, certainly digesting the information. The man could be dramatic and explosive at times, but whenever things got serious it was his silence that turned heads. Stephen didn’t dare, however, didn’t move a muscle, even as a glance to the side showed the Cloak shifting slightly in agitation.

   “Why would you do that?” His voice was dead, blank and emotionless. Hearing those words though immediately made Stephen clench his jaw against the torrent of images, Tony bloody and dying begging him not give up the Stone, the defeat and hatred in his eyes.

   He had no answer that would satisfy the man, knew his wishes should never have been a priority in the face of the Universe’s demise. “I loved you.”

   “You didn’t know me.”

   Stephen squeezed his eyes closed, breath becoming rough. “I did, better then anyone. I told you before I saw thousands of futures, I saw you at your absolute worst and I saw you at your finest. You had the purest soul I’d ever seen.”

   Silence, thick and tense reigned between them. Stephen didn’t want to offer excuses, would never dare. He knew what he had done, it wasn’t something to be sugar coated. He did have one more thing to offer, one more truth the man needed to know if he was to finally see what kind of man Stephen really was.

   “I’m sorry Tony. I put you through so much pain and I will never be able to make up for it, never make it better. But…if I had to make the choice again I would do it the same. Every. Single. Time.”

   Something deflated in Stephen at finally saying it. It hurt, of course it did, the truth was never easy, but Tony was the one man who deserved it most of all. Perhaps it could even give Tony some peace, take the weight off his shoulders to know that nothing was his fault, he wasn’t the one and only saviour of the world, just the one Stephen had chosen.

   A timid knock sounded at the door making Stephen flinch hard, jerking back slightly. There was shifting on the bed, Stephen opened his mouth to call out, but Tony beat him to it. “Not the time. Leave us alone.” His voice was hard and uncompromising.

   Stephen sighed quietly resigning himself to having to get up, no matter how much he wanted to disappear into the bed. “You should go.” Stephen murmured. He hoped, as pathetic as it was, that Tony would leave without a word, give Stephen a moment to get himself together before having to face the world again alone.

   A hand on his shoulder made Stephen freeze. Tony’s voice had taken on a gentle, hurt quality that made Stephen hate himself. “Look at me Stephen.” A pause where the Sorcerer didn’t move, then pleading. “Please.”

   It was the least he owed him. Taking a quick moment to wipe away his tears he turned around not bothering to sit up, could still feel phantom weakness in his body. Tony’s face nearly broke him. His eyes held a devastating adoration, they were bloodshot as though he were trying to hold back his own tears, his face was twisted in incomprehension as he looked down at Stephen.

   A gentle thumb came up to wipe at a stray tear and Stephen close his eyes against the delicate touch, feeling his heart crack. “Stop, Stephen. I feel like you try to get rid of me at every turn.” The words were broken and defeated, and now the Sorcerer was confused.

   “You deserve better.” It was the truth, even if Stephen hated the words leaving his mouth.

   “Look at me.” He said again, and Stephen did, when he looked into his eyes it was to them sparking with conviction, wild and passionate as though his soul was shining through, it stole Stephen’s breath in an instant. “Listen closely to me now.”

   Both his hands came up to cup Stephen’s face, eyes boring into his. “I love you. You were stuck having to make the hardest decision in the world. I could never imagine what it was like seeing everything you had to witness, I hope I never have to. But I think…” His voice cracked, he hesitated for only a moment. “I would have done the same if it was you. I can’t imagine what I’d do without you, but if I knew it would bring everyone back safe and sound _and_ keep you by my side, I wouldn’t think twice.”

   Stephen stared at him in disbelief, he really hadn’t believed the nighling. Wasn’t sure if he did even now. “Tony-”

   “No,” the man cut him off, seemingly desperate for him to understand. “ _I love you_ Stephen. I can guess that all your hesitance in this relationship has been about this, but I am telling your right now and meaning it,” He paused, taking a deep breath. “I forgive you.”

   Tears began to spill over his cheeks again, a broken sob bursting form his chest, and suddenly Tony was pulling him close into his arms, soothing noises, and a steady hand going through his hair again as Stephen couldn’t stop himself from burying his face in his neck.

   “I trusted you on Titan, I trusted you in the nightmare dimension because I know what kind of person you are, knew from the moment you and your sarcastic ass spoke.” A wet laugh bubbled out of Stephen. “I trust you did the right thing for the world and for you. So, I’m begging you to stop pushing me away and stop feeling guilty because you don’t need to.”

   Tony tugged him back from where he was pressed against him, eyes soft and worried. Stephen loved this man so much, and it felt almost unbelievable to think they had ended up here. He did deserve so much better, and Stephen swore to himself that he would do everything in his power to be worthy of him.

   He leaned forward and pressed a desperate kiss to Tony’s lips, whose hand tightened in his hair with a gasp, bodies pressed close together as though they could meld as one person. He sensed the relief in Tony, in the way he held him, the way he pressed harder. He could also sense the way his brain was still processing, and it was obvious this would require a dozen more conversations but for the first time Stephen felt content, no longer felt like an axe was hovering over his head.

   He pulled back with a sigh, looked into Tony’s warm eyes, “thank you.” Stephen whispered.

   Tony shook his head a little, a familiar crooked smile making an appearance, and squeezing Stephen’s side. “No, thank you. You saved me too, gave me a second chance to do better, to fight again, to live, to love.”

   Stephen smiled finally, “Sappy.”

   “Just this once.” He said with a laugh.

   They both knew it was a lie.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to regular drabbles for a little while guys. Let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> The Nightmare dimension is inspired by Strange Tales #110 (1963) and #116 (1964). They are almost nothing alike but I still got the idea from there so due credit. Also the candle idea, although used very differently and in no relation to dimensions came from a tiny little snippet in Strange Tales #114 (1963).  
> Four chapters total, yes things will pick up drastically in the next chapter :)


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